Hello everyone, for the last few months I have been creating long form write-ups on a variety of unsolved cases. If you are interested in other lengthy write ups you can find them on my profile- https://www.reddit.com/useQuirky-Moto.
Months ago, I was asked to cover the inexplicable case of Judy Smith, a woman who went missing from Philadelphia or perhaps Massachusetts, only for her body to be found in North Carolina months later. The case was famously covered on the show Unsolved Mysteries, and it is strange enough to warrant a long, hard look at the case and a comprehensive timeline. I hope you are able to learn something new about this semi well-known case.
Background
Judy Smith was born Judith Eldridge in Massachusetts in 1946. Right out of high school Judy married for the first time. Her husband and she had been married very shortly when in an attemot to avoid the draft, he fled to Sweden. Judy went in search of her young husband but soon returned to the states empty handed and filed for divorce. Years later, Judy married Charles Bradford a man who worked in the racehorse industry. They had two children together, Craig and Amy, but unfortunately the marriage did not last and soon Judy found herself jobless and raising two children by herself. Rather than fret, Judy got a job and enrolled in nursing school. Judy was known to study in all of her free time and soon became a successful home health care nurse. In 1986 at age 40, Judy was caring for a man who was recovering from throat surgery when she met her patient’s son, a well to do lawyer named Jeffrey Smith. Jeffrey said he was impressed by how Judy cared for his father and asked her on a date. Judy and Jeff had several things in common, both had been divorced single parents who raised children alone, and Jeffrey worked in healthcare as well, except he was a lawyer. The couple both enjoyed going to plays and Celtics basketball games. After seven years together, Jeff and Judy moved in together and three years later the couple married in Nov., 1996.
According to friends and family, Judy was a rather assertive and independent person. She was no stranger to travelling alone. Judy had been to Europe on her own a few times, and when her children were pre-teens, she took them to Europe for a backpacking adventure. Judy also independently traveled to Thailand where she went hiking and visited friends. While Judy wasn’t the epitome of fitness, she was an active person who enjoyed walking, hiking, and sightseeing. She was also known to be a go-getter who once helped an AIDS patient who was having a medical crisis on a plane. So, while Judy was kindhearted and considerate, she wasn’t thought to be naive and was able to take care of herself in a variety of different situations.
The disappearance
Five months into her new marriage on April 9th 1997, Jeffrey prepared to attend a conference in Philadelphia that was taking place from Wednesday April 9th-Friday April 11th at the Double Tree hotel in downtown Philadelphia. Judy decided to accompany her husband to Philadelphia and planned to do some sightseeing in the area. Afterwards, the Smiths were going to New Jersey to spend the weekend with some friends before flying back home.
On April 9th in the morning, Judy accompanied her husband to Logan International Airport to fly to Philadelphia, but discovered at the gate that she could not board as she did not have her photo ID. Judy encouraged Jeffrey to take the 1:30 pm flight and assured him that she would take a flight later that day and meet him in Philadelphia. According to relatives, the Smiths took public transport to the airport and Judy apparently took the bus back home and retrieved her ID. Jeffrey flew to the conference while Judy returned home and booked a flight for later that day. Judy boarded a 7:30 pm flight and arrived at the hotel in Philadelphia at approximately 9:30 pm.
Once at the hotel, the couple purchased some snacks and went to bed. The next morning Jeffrey awoke and ate breakfast at the complimentary buffet downstairs while his wife was still asleep. When he returned to the room Judy was in the shower. The two talked about several things, and Judy explained that she planned on taking the PHLASH bus in order to see the famous sights such as the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall. The Smiths planned on meeting up at the hotel in the evening to attend the conference’s 6 pm cocktail party together. With that squared away, Jeffrey attended the conference. Sometime in between 9 and 10 am a hotel concierge recalled seeing a woman matching Judy’s description ask how to get to the PHLASH bus stop. The woman was in her 50s, with shortish hair, wearing a dark colored coat, blue jeans, and white tennis shoes, carrying a bright red backpack. (Picture of the Judy wearing the backpack here).
At approximately 5:30 pm Jeffrey who was done with the day’s sessions returned to the hotel room expecting to find Judy waiting for him. Judy wasn’t there, so Jeffrey attended the cocktail hour in the hopes his wife was already visiting at the party, but she wasn’t there either. For the next 45 minutes, Jeffrey floated between the room and the party hoping to find Judy. At approximately 6:15 pm Jeffrey told the concierges that his wife had not returned from sightseeing and the hotel staff began calling local hospitals. At 6:30 pm, Jeffrey hopped in a taxi and instructed the driver to take the PHLASH bus route slowly so he could look for his wife. In one interview Jeffrey recalled that he made the driver go so slow it angered those stuck behind him. After a few hours without any sign of Judy, Smith called the police to report his wife missing. Shockingly, the PPD told Jeffrey that he couldn’t file a report until it had been twenty-four hours since the last final sighting of Judy. After lodging some complaints with some high-ranking officials within the city, a missing person’s report was taken for Judy Smith on the morning of April 11th, 1997 (Lewis, 1997).
Jeffrey called his step children and asked them to check the house in case Judy had gone home, and he also asked that they would check the answering machine, but there were no messages of note and the house was empty.
A check of the hotel room showed that Judy had left with her signature red backpack, her wallet, the jewelry she normally wore including a diamond engagement band and a simple silver wedding ring, and the clothes on her back. Jeffrey estimated that she had approximately $200 dollars with her at the time.
According to later interviews with Philadelphia investigators, Judy, or someone with her name did in fact buy a USair ticket on the 7:30 pm flight into Philadelphia. Her ticket was used to make the flight and her seat was occupied on the flight into Philadelphia (Justiceforjudy.org). At the time of the Smiths’ trip, regulations that required photo identification to board a plane had only been in effect for 18 months and Judy had flown only one other time during that time frame. Additionally, police have a luggage tag from Judy’s suitcase that showed that she took the 7:30 pm flight, and that her bag did not travel to Philadelphia with Jeffrey earlier in the day (AP, Oct 4th, 1997).
Sightings
As news of Judy’s disappearance spread, many people called the police station to report various sightings of Judy.
One PHLASH driver remembered picking up Judy in the early afternoon at Front and South streets, a stop near the Double Tree.
There was also a reported sighting of Judy entering the Greyhound bus station at 11th and Filbert sometime in the early afternoon. This station is a common place for tourists to use the bathroom and is only a 10-minute walk to the DoubleTree hotel. One report claims Judy was seen entering and then exiting the station but most reports mention only entering the station. This area was close to Philadelphia’s Chinatown and Jeffrey speculated that Judy may have gone to Chinatown for lunch as she loved both Chinese and Thai food, but no restaurant owners remembered seeing Judy that day.
There was yet another sighting of a woman who looked like Judy at around 3 pm near the hotel; witnesses claimed this woman seemed disoriented.
A number of sightings were reported over the next few days in the waterfront area of the city called Penn’s Landing. A variety of people claimed to have seen Judy. Some witnesses said she seemed confused or dazed. Judy’s two children, her son in law Jay, and Jeffrey looked into these sightings and discovered that there was a homeless woman in the area who looked strikingly similar to Judy and it is believed that many witnesses saw this woman rather than Judy Smith. This local resident looked so similar to Judy that at one point Judy’s son Craig crossed the street thinking he had discovered his mother, only for it to be the other woman. Police officers and volunteers stopped this woman a number of times as well.
One transient in the area, a man named David, was insistent that he saw Judy, not the other woman, on the night of April 10th in the Penn’s landing area, either resting or sleeping on the bench. He was insistent it was Judy, and not the other woman as he knew the other woman from the neighborhood. Judy’s son believes this story is credible as David was coherent and very willing to be interviewed, even though there was nothing to be gained from his testimony and he was simply happy to help the family. He also identifed Judy from a collection of photos, something many other witnesses were unable to do.
On April 11th an employee at a Macy’s department store in Deptford, New Jersey believed that she interacted with Judy Smith in the morning on that day. She described the clothes Judy wore, right down to the old red backpack. This shopper told the employee, that she was buying some dresses for her daughter but laughed because her daughter often disliked the pieces that she purchased for her. Judy’s family confirmed that this was acurate and affirmed that Judy sometimes shopped at Macy’s. The customer appeared to be slightly disoriented as she asked a young woman in the store to leave with her, thinking that the other customer was her daughter or a someone else she knew. One report says that Judy asked another customer in the store about menopause, a very odd subject to talk about, especially with someone you don’t know in a department store.
This mall complex was in Deptford, New Jersey, a bus ride away from Philadelphia, across the Delaware River. According to newspaper reports, NJ Transit Buses had routes which traveled from downtown Philly to Deptford hourly, and the stop was very close to the mall the sighting took place at, meaning it was possible for Judy to have boarded the bus and ended up in Deptford quite easily. Unfortunately, the Macy’s didn’t have security footage which showed this customer and the woman paid for her purchases in cash.
After a second story ran in the newspaper on April 14th, a variety of other witnesses came forward with stories. The most famous report came from a Society Hill hotel employee who explained that a woman who matched Judy’s description stayed in the hotel from April 13th-15th. The woman appeared to have psychiatric problems and did a variety of strange things during her stay such as touch herself very noticeably in front of the window (it’s unknown if this was in her room or in the lobby), speak in tongues, and finally claimed that “the emperor” would help her pay for her stay at the hotel. This wacky guest was remembered by several employees including the hotel manager, a woman named Abby Gainer, who alerted the police. The strange guest told the employees that she wanted to stay at the hotel for another night but didn’t have the funds to do so. She later said she would get the money via a Western Union wire transfer from “the emperor” (Altman, 1997).
The nearby Best Western Hotel had a similar situation with a similar woman. Concierge Tyrone Taylor remembered that on the 15th, a woman matching this description entered the hotel to use the telephone in the late afternoon. The woman was speaking loudly and said that “the emperor of China” was going to pay for her stay as she did not have the cash to pay for a night at the hotel. Taylor reported that the woman was well dressed and did not appear to be a transient. Both hotel employees reported that the woman was a heavyset blonde in her 50s, wearing heavy dark makeup, eye glasses with tape on the side, and nicer clothes. Gainer reported the woman was sporting an expensive looking scarf with camels and roses on it. The woman, who signed in as "H. K. Rich/Collins," did not have any luggage with her and was wearing very different clothes than Judy was last seen in. When Taylor called the police to report his sighting, he gave the strange guest a call (she must have left a telephone number) and told her she could have a free night at the hotel. She arrived at the Best Western but police decided that the woman was not Judy Smith (Altman, 1997). The hotel sightings were nothing more than a red herring. Over the next few months various sightings were reported but none seemed to pan out. Many of the sightings were believed to be other people who looked like Judy. After all history has shown that false eyewitness sightings are incredibly common in cases of missing persons.
Philadelphia PD’s investigation
Philadelphia PD launched an inquiry into the disappearance of Judy Smith on April 11th, 1997. Jeffrey tried to report Judy as missing in the late evening hours of April 10th, but the police told him to wait 24 hours. Smith, however, was a well-connected man and after a few complaints to both a Pennsylvania state representative and the mayor (both men were attorneys and knew Jeffrey from previous work functions), Jeffrey was able to file a report in the early morning hours of the 11th. The Smith family made and hung flyers in the area. Judy’s children joined the search and followed up on sightings around the tourist areas of Philly. Police interviewed Jeffrey, Judy’s children, and others in order to retrace Judy’s last steps. Judy left behind her passport at her home in Massachusetts meaning she could not have easily left the county. The Smith’s two landline records were checked but nothing out of the ordinary was found.
After interviews and searches of the area, Philadelphia PD announced that they believed Judy had never made it to Pennsylvania at all and speculated that Judy went missing from the Boston area. This speculation was based on a couple of things.
First, investigators did not believe Jeffrey’s story that Judy couldn’t catch the flight due to a lack of photo ID. Police thought that this story was odd and did not believe a seasoned traveler like Judy would forget her license at home before heading to the airport.
Later investigation showed that someone named Judith Smith took a 7:30pm flight into Philadelphia and flight manifest showed that the ticket was used to make the flight that evening, however, the entire incident is still odd to many amateur sleuths and professional investigators.
Another detective thought it was odd that while Judy had clothes and belongings in the hotel room, she didn’t have any cosmetics with her. Further, detectives noticed that there were few soiled items of clothing in the room meaning that if Judy was in Philadelphia on the 10th, she wore the same jeans and coat that she was wearing the night before. Judy’s children reported that this wasn’t uncommon for their mother as she wasn’t a frilly person. They also said that their mother only wore makeup on occasion and not while traveling so these things didn’t seem out of the ordinary to them. (Personally, I have also wondered if Judy did have some makeup, but it was in her backpack at time. I know plenty of women who don’t wear much makeup, but if you looked in their purse or bag you might find some lip stick or powder.)
Investigators went on to say that no one but Jeffrey could place Judy in Philadelphia during this time frame. This announcement resulted in several eyewitnesses who claimed that they had seen Judy at the hotel. One receptionist from the hotel claimed that on April 9th in between 9-10 pm, she saw Judy arrive at the hotel and greet her husband in the lobby. She said that Jeffrey gave Judy flowers and the two appeared to be apologizing to each other. (Jeffrey said this was the case except Judy gave him the flowers). One concierge remembered a woman in her 50s with a coat and old red backpack ask him how to get to the PHLASH bus stop at around 10 am on April 10th. He knew it was after 9 am because that is when his shift started. Finally, a conference goer named Carmen Catazone, who was sitting in the lobby also recalled the flower incident from the night before. The woman did not know Jeffrey personally, but recognized him from the conference. Jeffrey was a moderator for a variety of sessions and was very overweight so he was easily recognizable. These witness’ accounts seem to line up with Jeffrey’s story. As far as I can tell the flower story had not been released to the press at this point.
Finally, Philadelphia PD divulged that Jeffrey wasn’t fully cooperative, as he wouldn’t submit to a polygraph. Jeffrey denies this and said that as a lawyer he knew that polygraphs are fallible. Further, he claims that he was willing to take a lie detector if it was given by an outside agency such as the FBI, but Philadelphia police declined this scenario. These are the four reasons investigators used in order to prop up their theory that Judy wasn’t in Philadelphia at all. Despite witness sightings, this theory is a popular on online to this day.
Aftermath and Discovery
After several weeks Jeffrey returned to the Boston area and tried to resume his normal life. He drastically cut back his hours at the office reporting that he could not focus on his work. Smith attempted to keep his wife’s case in the spotlight doing interviews whenever he could and eventually landing a spot on the show Unsolved Mysteries. On the show, one friend of the couple called the marriage “tenuous” but modern articles on the case mention that the police could find no one who reported concerns like these about the couples’ relationship. In independent interviews Judy’s adult children denied witnessing any warning signs in their mother’s new marriage. Eventually, Jeffrey hired three private investigators to look for Judy. The PIs faxed over 9,000 missing posters to police departments and hospitals all over the country hoping that someone would recognize Judy.
Five months after her disappearance in September 1997, a man and his son were hunting in the Pisgah National Forest near Candler, North Carolina, a short drive from the city of Asheville. On a steep incline one-quarter mile from a picnic area, which itself was a mile from hike from the nearest parking area, the duo found what appeared to be a human bone. They alerted the police who responded to the scene. Over an area approximately 300 feet in diameter, investigators found most of a human skeleton which had been wrapped in a blue blanket and buried in a very shallow grave. Scavenging animals had dug up the skeleton and a few bones had been carried away. The skeleton was determined to be female. The woman was dressed in thermal underwear under her jeans, hiking boots, socks, a t-shirt, a bra and a jacket. Nearby in two different holes, a blue vinyl backpack and a men’s shirt had been buried. The backpack contained some winter clothing and 80 dollars. The shirt contained a pair of $110 Bolle brand sunglasses, as well an additional $87. A paperback mystery novel was also found nearby. She carried no ID. The slope where the body was discovered was near some hiking trails, but the hill itself was steep and at an elevation of 4,000 feet, the search was difficult. The incline was so severe that one investigator crushed his sciatic nerve attempting to search the area, an injury which required major surgery.
Early coverage of the body’s discovery in the Asheville Citizen Times, initially reported that the police found a body belonging to a woman who they believed to be in her 20s dressed in hiking clothes (Ball, 1997). Several days later, the medical examiner assessed the bones and concluded that the skeleton was that of white woman in her 40s or 50s, who was about 5’3” tall with shortish light brown hair. There were cut marks in the woman’s bra and t-shirt which indicated that she had been stabbed in the chest area, however, no cause of death could be determined. Some reports mention that there was trauma to the woman’s ribs. The decedent also had a severely arthritic right knee (some reports say it was her left knee), extensive fillings and dental work in her molars, and some animal hair on her shirt, which may have been horse hair. The woman did not seem to be a transient due to her nice clothes and dental work. The death was ruled a homicide as the woman had been wrapped in a blanket post mortem and buried. The ME determined that the body had been there for 1-2 years prior. For several weeks the skeleton remained nameless in the ME’s office.
On September 9th, a small blurb about the unidentified body ran in an Asheville, North Carolina paper. 65 miles away in Franklin, NC, an ER physician named Parker Davis was looking at missing poster which had been faxed to the hospital he worked at when he noticed that the woman on the poster had a severely arthritic knee. He remembered the story of the skeleton from the paper who had a similar knee problem. On a whim he called the police who were able to get a copy of Judy’s missing poster. After a preliminary check, the ME contacted Jeffrey in order to obtain a copy of Judy’s dental records. The records were a match, and by the end of September 1997, Judy had her name back. Friends and family were also able to identify Judy’s diamond engagement band with a pear-shaped stone and wedding ring which had been found on or near the body. Some early reports say that the woman had no jewelry and that Judy’s wedding ring was missing, but later reports say that it was found near the body. The area of the burial was searched on at least three occasions so it is possible the rings were not found until later. Missing was Judy’s wallet, red backpack, and some jewelry that she typically wore (it’s unclear what jewelry this is referring to). The coat she was last seen wearing was nowhere to be found and the clothes she was dressed in, as well as those in the backpack were unable to be identified by family or friends. The shirt buried nearby was a men’s shirt and was believed to belong to the killer, not Judy. Furthermore, the sunglasses did not appear to be Judy’s as Judy’s kids said she wasn’t the type to spend over $100 on sunglasses. The sunglasses are an athletic style and to me look like men’s or unisex sport sunglasses.
Buncombe County Investigation
Buncombe County Sheriff’s Department took over the case from the PPD after Judy’s identification. Once it was determined that Judy was the woman in the woods, several residents in and around Asheville reported that they had seen Judy or had interacted with her in the April shortly after she was last seen in Philadelphia. For example, one woman thought Judy had stayed at her hotel from April 10th-12th, one woman who worked at a souvenir shop near the Biltmore house (a tourist attraction near Asheville) thought that she spoke to Judy who said she was from Boston and that her husband was a lawyer. Another woman who worked in a store recalled that Judy with her red backpack. She claims that Judy bought a toy truck and approximately $30 worth of sandwiches. There were two other sightings of a person resembling Judy in the area in a gray sedan. One person claimed to have seen Judy near the Pisgah National Forest in a gray sedan chock full of stuff. This witness said that the woman was looking for a place to camp. Another person saw a woman in a gray sedan in the same area. All sightings occurred in the week or so after Judy was last seen in Philadelphia. Of course, it goes without saying that, eyewitness testimony can be unreliable and the human mind is susceptible to suggestion.
North Carolina investigators traveled to Philadelphia to retrace Judy’s steps. They have said that they don’t believe that PPD did a poor job but simply wanted to cover their bases. Two detectives flew to Philadelphia and determined that Judy probably been there at least briefly before traveling to the Pisgah National Forest. They reported that there was no indication that Judy had been abducted or otherwise forced to travel south. It appeared she at least started the journey of her own volition. In all the sightings of Judy in North Carolina, she was alone.
Buncombe county deputies were able to rule out Jeffrey as a suspect rather quickly, although they concede that anything is possible and Jeffrey could be involved however unlikely it seems. Jeffrey was ruled out based on his size and health. Jeffrey was a morbidly obese man who investigators noted began huffing and puffing when walking quickly or climbing stairs. Because of this they did not believe Jeffrey could have disposed of his wife’s body especially in such an inaccessible area of the forest. Furthermore, they could find no evidence that Jeffrey rented a car in Philadelphia adding to the logistical problems with Jeffrey being a suspect. On top of his lack of car, Jeffrey had less than 12 hours to dispose of Judy’s body as he was seen in the lobby of the hotel at 9:30 pm, and then was moderating a session of the conference at 9:30 am. Driving to the Pisgah National Forest from Philadelphia takes approximately nine hours one way meaning he did not have time to kill and dispose of his wife. One podcast on the case mentions that police could find no large withdrawals of money from the Smith’s accounts which could have indicated the hiring of a hit man or a paid accomplice. (I could find no other corroboration of this claim so take this with a grain of salt.) Jeffrey also kept his wife’s case in the spotlight and suffered many hardships in the wake of his wife’s disappearance. Besides the one woman who was interviewed on Unsolved Mysteries, no other friends or family reported that there were issues in marriage that they were aware of.
Philadelphia police also struggled with Jeffrey’s size as carrying and disposing of a dead body is quite taxing and it is doubtful that Jeffrey could have done this on his own. However, they say that Jeffrey is still as suspect as he could have killed his wife in Boston or had an accomplice.
With the most obvious suspect cleared, investigators moved on to other lines of inquiry. They searched the surrounding areas hoping to find people who had seen Judy which is how the discovery of the woman in the gray car was made. Police also searched a nearby horse farm as Judy was known to like horses and had what could have been horse hair on her body, but nothing definitive was found.
Other information

Philadelphia investigators looked at the Smith’s phone records and determined that there was no unusual activity on either of their phone lines that would indicate that either of the Smiths were having affairs. Neither Jeffrey or Judy had cell phones. If Judy was having an affair at the time, none of her friends could provide any insight or speculate as to who it was. There was a computer in the house which was searched, but it is unknown if the computer was connected to the internet.
When Judy went missing Jeffrey believed that she had approximately $200 on her person. About $500 dollars in cash was found among Judy’s things in the hotel room. Judy also disappeared with her ID, her credit card, and her phone card. To this day, there has been no activity on either card.
Judy’s description varies from source to source. Some sources report that she was “heavy set” or “top heavy”. Others say she was 130 or 140 lbs., which is more average size for a 5’2” woman. In some pictures Judy looks to be of a larger build, but in some photos, she appears smaller. Whether these weights were a misprint or Judy was someone whose weight fluctuated regularly is unclear. It is not a very important detail but it is a discrepancy I wanted to point out.
Judy had been to North Carolina only once and had no connection to the area. She had once been to Raleigh to visit Jeffrey who was at a weight loss clinic. Jeffrey said that he loved the area and thought about moving, but the couple never returned to the state. Family also said that Judy had once traveled to Tennessee or another nearby state with a former patient but that had been years earlier.
Judy Smith is also the name of a famous "Crisis Manager." This Judy Smith was the inspiration for the hit show "Scandal" with actress Kerry Washington. This woman is not the same Judy Smith who went missing in 1997.

Suspects
Gary Michael Hilton, sometimes called the national park killer, is a suspect in Judy's disappearance. In 2008 Hilton was arrested for a murder in a national forest and was later linked to three other murders, all of which took place between 2005 and 2008. Hilton, who was in his 50s and 60s at the time, killed hikers in Florida, Georgia, and North Carolina and he is considered a suspect in many other murders in surrounding states such as Arkansas, South Carolina, and Tennessee. Hilton, who loved the outdoors, would often stalk hiking trails, camp sites, and other areas known for outdoor recreation to find victims to terrorize. His crimes were tended to be opportunistic and his motive most often was monetary. Hilton held down a series of jobs from 1997 to 2007 but did not work full time. He was also a drifter who moved from place to place. Hilton usually assaulted and robbed his victims of their wallets, atm cards, cash, and valuables. His victims were male and female, young and old. He seemed to prefer victims who were isolated and alone did not try to find a specific type of person otherwise. One thing that is interesting about Hilton as an offender is that it appears that he did not commit any violent crimes before he was 58 or 59 years old. Hilton has a very long rap sheet but most of his crimes were relatively minor such as possession of marijuana, carrying a pistol without a license, soliciting false donations for charity, carrying a police baton, and DUI. Once arrested several violent incidents that Hilton had been a part of came to light but he had never been convicted of them in the past. Most people agree someone with does not start a life of violent crime in their 60s. Many believe the Gary Michael Hilton has more victims then are currently known.
John and Irene Bryant, an eclectic couple in their 80s, were hiking in the Pisgah National Forest in 2007 when they were attacked by Hilton. Hilton killed Irene, and then kidnapped her husband in order to use their ATM cards and withdraw money before killing John as well. Irene's body was left only miles from where Judy's body was found 10 years earlier. This is one of the most convincing pieces of evidence that Hilton may have been involved in Judy's murder as well. However, it is important to note that Judy was not robbed and Hilton did not bury any of his known victims. Judy's murder also took place 10 years before any Hilton's other murders. Some blogs or more unofficial sources on the case mentioned that Hilton was believed to be in Georgia at the time of Judy's disappearance, but this isn't known for sure. If you are interested in learning more about the crimes of Gary Michael Hilton this reddit post is a really good place to start. This post did a good job of putting it all in one place so thank you u/lisagreenhouse.
Another offender who was in the Asheville area at the time of Judy's disappearance was a young man named Lewis Kyle Wilson. In the early 2000s Wilson was arrested after assaulting and robbing a sex worker he had brought home to his property. There's not a lot of information on Wilson online, but he was living in Asheville and would have been 19 at the time of Judy's disappearance. I cannot find any evidence that Wilson actually killed anyone but he does have a history of violence towards women and was in the area at the time so he is sometimes mentioned online as a possible suspect. One sex worker Wilson was known to frequent was the victim of an unsolved homicide that happened in 2006; Wilson is the prime suspect in that crime.
In 2016, only a couple of miles from Judy's burial site in the Pisgah National Forest, a lone hiker in her 60s was attacked, raped, and left tied to a tree. Thankfully, the woman was found alive and taken to the hospital. Some have wondered if this crime was connected to the Judy Smith homicide but there is no hard evidence of this and the rapist remains unknown.
Theories
Amnesia is one possible explanation for Judy’s disappearance. The family believes that Judy was injured or otherwise suffered a bout of dissociative amnesia which caused her to become confused or forget her identity. This is supported by the sightings of a confused or disoriented Judy in Philadelphia. The family believes this explains why Judy traveled to the Pisgah National Forest apparently of her own free will.
One theory is that Judy and Jeffrey had an argument that spurred an angry Judy to leave the area, whether she left from Boston or Philadelphia. After she left the area and traveled south to North Carolina, she met with foul play.
In a similar vein, some believed Judy willingly traveled to North Carolina to meet up with someone, perhaps a friend or a secret boyfriend. The ID incident at the airport was simply a cover so Judy could converse with this person who she wanted to meet. Once in North Carolina she met with foul play perhaps at the hand of the person she went to meet.
One theory Jeffrey explored was that Judy was suffering from mental illness and had a psychotic break. Being a lawyer, Jeffrey was able with some legal maneuvering to obtain all of Judy’s medical records from her adult life, including a physical she had had only months before hand. There was no indication that Judy had ever had any mental health concerns. Neither she or her doctors ever mentioned anything that would have pointed to any mental health problems, even minor ones such as anxiety. According to Jeffrey, Judy’s newest physical reported that Judy was in good mental and physical health (Lewis, 1997 and Trace Evidence Podcast).
Other sleuths have speculated that Judy traveled to North Carolina because she was questioning her sexuality. Asheville at the time was known for having an LGBT community. This theory is pushed forward by one interview on the Unsolved Mysteries segment as Judy’s friend says, “If you are looking for a mystery man, there wasn’t one.” Some have said that this implied that Judy had met a mystery woman, not a man. However, this theory is full of holes. No friends or family ever had any indication that Judy was questioning her sexuality. Judy had been married to men on three occasions and had other boyfriends as well. This explanation fails to explain why this realization would cause Judy to unexpectedly travel hundreds of miles and cease contact with her children. It also fails to explain who killed Judy.
Others have speculated that Judy was tricked into going to North Carolina. Perhaps she met someone while sightseeing who offered her a ride and that person abducted her or drove her to North Carolina for some reason.
Personally, I have always wondered if Judy was suffering from early onset dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. This would be a similar theory to the psychotic break theory; however, I believe this explains why Judy was described as both disoriented and acting normal in different sightings. I am by no means an expert, but if I understand correctly, patients with these conditions can get very confused and agitated but can also have times of acting completely lucid. I think this theory can explain why Judy forgot her license at home before flying, and can also explain her disappearance. I think it is possible Judy got on the wrong bus and ended up first at the Deptford mall and then eventually North Carolina, simply getting more and more lost each day. Of course, this hypothesis does not solve Judy’s murder, it simply gives an explanation for her travels.
A final theory that is prevalent online is the idea that the doe found in Pisgah National Forest was not Judy at all and was instead misidentified. While this is always possible and something I have entertained from time to time, Judy was matched via dental records, her arthritic knee, and her distinct engagement ring with a pear-shaped stone. If the doe was not Judy, then the mystery becomes even stranger, and now includes the identity and murder of yet another woman. While the odds of a similarly aged woman, with a bad knee, similar dental work, and a plain silver wedding band accompanied with a fancy diamond engagement ring, who was not Judy being murdered in the forest is possible, I believe that it is not very likely. Proponents of this theory point to the ME’s report that the doe had been in the forest for over a year, while Judy had been missing only five months at the time of her discovery.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Full list of sources are in part two- https://unsolved.com/gallery/judy-smith/
link to part 2 https://www.reddit.com/UnresolvedMysteries/comments/kky2l2/when_a_body_is_found_600_miles_away_extensive_two/

Kickstarter Roundup: Feb 7 2021 | 20+ Ending Soon (including: Radlands) & 50+ New This Week (including: Maquis: 2nd Edition)

What this is:

This is a weekly, curated listing of Kickstarter board game projects that are either:

newly posted in the past 7 days, or
ending in the next 7 days (starting Feb 08) and have at least a fighting chance of being funded.

All board game projects meeting those criteria will automatically be included, no need to ask. (The occasional non-board game project may also sneak in!)
Expect new lists each Sunday sometime between midnight and noon PST.

Ending Soon

Project Info	Players	Backers	Min / Avg Pledge	Ends	Comments
Memory Decompression A solo survival miniatures gamebook. // Has raised $4,828 of $4,000 so far. (~121%) ☑	1	135	$24 / $36	Feb 08	kicktraq
1860: Railways on the Isle of Wight The long-awaited return of Mike Hutton's game of tricky track-building and questionable corporate direction // Has raised $126,512 of $20,000 so far. (~633%) ☑	2 - 4	1161	$75 / $109	Feb 09	kicktraq bgg
Big Bang Burgers This is a card game for people who are into Burgers, Sabotage and Explosions. // Has raised A$6,065 of A$2,500 so far. (~243%) ☑	2 - 6	101	$16 / A$60	Feb 10	kicktraq
The W.A.T.C.H. RPG A tabletop role-playing game in which the players become paranormal investigators and cryptid hunters. // Has raised $5,714 of $1,500 so far. (~381%) ☑	?	183	$10 / $31	Feb 11	kicktraq #rpg
Warbattle: a remote tabletop fantasy game A two-player tabletop fantasy battle game designed to be played remotely, designed by a 9 year old, his mom and his uncle. // Has raised $934 of $300 so far. (~311%) ☑	2	32	$10 / $29	Feb 11	kicktraq
COLOSTLE - A solo RPG - make100 Discover a world of mountains, valleys, seas and cities, all within the colossal impossible structure of a castle's rooms and corridors // Has raised £32,937 of £250 so far. (~13175%) ☑	1	1969	$9 / £17	Feb 11	kicktraq #rpg
Drink To Forget Relevant themed drinking games to keep your party engaged and laughing the entire night. 8 Categories and 110 cards! // Has raised $9,130 of $10,000 so far. (~91%)	3+	162	$25 / $56	Feb 11	kicktraq #lolwut
Pingyao: First Chinese Banks Pingyao: First Chinese Banks is an economic dice-as-workers placement game for 1-4 players and plays in 60-90 minutes. // Has raised $27,754 of $20,000 so far. (~139%) ☑	1 - 4	395	$55 / $70	Feb 11	kicktraq bgg
Dodoresque Jungle Fever - 2021 Edition It's a funny, fast paced Card Game about colorful Dodos including 12 Eco-friendly Miniatures. Your game for the whole family. // Has raised €592 of €500 so far. (~118%) ☑	2 - 4	32	$26 / €19	Feb 11	kicktraq bgg #take2 #newedition
XENOSCAPE - Extreme survival Sci-Fi RPG Are you ready to discover the secrets of Materia, a green and deadly raypunk world? // Has raised €19,465 of €5,000 so far. (~389%) ☑	?	244	$25 / €80	Feb 11	kicktraq #rpg
Snack Attack: The Card Game Hungry dinos everywhere! Fast-paced and easy-to-learn, steal snacks in this family-friendly, competitive card game for 2-4 players! // Has raised $5,926 of $6,000 so far. (~99%)	2 - 4	162	$20 / $37	Feb 11	kicktraq
BATTLE SQUARES: Trays and Bases Resin magnetic bases and movement trays for fantasy "rank and flank" wargames. // Has raised €2,633 of €500 so far. (~527%) ☑	-	29	$26 / €91	Feb 11	kicktraq #bling
Dice Dodgems - Make 100 A 30 minute, 2-4 player tabletop game that combines, dice, dodgems, strategic gameplay and tonnes of bouncing fun! // Has raised NZ$6,003 of NZ$6,500 so far. (~92%)	2 - 4	90	$40 / NZ$67	Feb 11	kicktraq
Tesla Science Race: The Board Game The Great Science Race: The Board Game Inspired By Nikola Tesla. // Has raised $3,482 of $3,333 so far. (~104%) ☑	2 - 4	41	$39 / $85	Feb 11	kicktraq bgg #take2
Kingdoms of the Deep Journey into the deep with our follow up to the award-winning Animal Kingdoms! // Has raised $16,027 of $12,300 so far. (~130%) ☑	2 - 6	322	$39 / $50	Feb 11	kicktraq bgg
Bunny Party at Maple Valley Play as a bunny furiously decorating for a party in this card game where two players win! evansgames.com/bunnyparty // Has raised $6,698 of $3,800 so far. (~176%) ☑	3 - 4	253	$15 / $26	Feb 11	kicktraq bgg
The Full Shanty! Card Game Can you bluff,blagg and tradeyour way to victory?Collect cards to make aFULL SHANTY.The Shanty bases card game. // Has raised £1,158 of £1,000 so far. (~116%) ☑	?	43	$17 / £27	Feb 12	kicktraq
Radlands ☢️ The game you will take with you through the apocalypse. // Has raised C$433439 of C$25000 so far. (~1734%) ☑	2	6427	$40 / C$67	Feb 12	kicktraq bgg
The Belgian Beers Race US edition The US localization of Belgian Beers Race board game. Race through Belgium, visiting breweries and enjoying beers. // Has raised $11,114 of $1,000 so far. (~1111%) ☑	2 - 4	112	$99 / $99	Feb 12	kicktraq bgg
Battle Builders Card Game A card game where you collect cards to make a weapon and take out your friends! // Has raised $667 of $150 so far. (~445%) ☑	3 - 8	29	$20 / $23	Feb 12	kicktraq
Wasted Wizards: A Party Game for Your Inner Nerd A board game that combines luck of the dice with classic drinking games. Get your friends together to have fun and slay the dragon. // Has raised $4,097 of $6,000 so far. (~68%)	2 - 6	51	$55 / $80	Feb 13	kicktraq

New This Week

Project Info	Players	Backers	Min / Avg Pledge	Ends	Comments
A Universal Truth - International Version The Strategic Game of Courtship. This is a gamer's game for 1-5 players, now with an international version! // Has raised $1,724 of $8,000 so far. (~22%)	1 - 5	28	$49 / $62	Mar 15	bgg #take2
All in one Board Game: A tactical and competitive board game consists of advance Tic Tac Toe, advance Paper Scissors Rock and much more playing ways. // Has raised HK$922 of HK$37,500 so far. (~2%)	varies	3	$15 / HK$307	Mar 02	#lolwut
Badland Wolves Guided by the law of Tooth & Claw, the wolves now fight for the crown. // Has raised $12,363 of $10,000 so far. (~124%) ☑	3 - 5	256	$30 / $48	Feb 26	bgg
Board game PLAYMATS! My kingdom for a PLAYMAT!Made of neoprene, ideal for board games or miniatures. // Has raised €2,947 of €1,900 so far. (~155%) ☑	-	77	$25 / €38	Feb 25	#bling
Brutal quest - A miniature narrative game A fantasy miniature narrative games based on the planet28 rule system. // Has raised £3,878 of £800 so far. (~485%) ☑	2	435	$11 / £9	Feb 19
Burger Builder Burger Builder is a fun new card game where players score points by building tasty food items using ingredient cards. // Has raised A$2,546 of A$2,500 so far. (~102%) ☑	?	50	$16 / A$51	Mar 06
Card-opoly A combination of monopoly and Cardistry condensed to the constraints of the 8x8 for a different feel // Has raised $121 of $100,000 so far. (~0%)	?	2	$100 / $61	Mar 05	#lolwut
Clinic Deluxe Extensions TWO new Extension boxes for Clinic Deluxe Edition containing more than 25 expansions for a level of simulation probably never reached i // Has raised $149,761 of $29,000 so far. (~516%) ☑	2 - 4	1290	$40 / $116	Feb 28	bgg #expansion
CoraQuest A cooperative and customisable dungeon crawl adventure for the whole family // Has raised £70,991 of £12,060 so far. (~589%) ☑	1 - 4	2443	$42 / £29	Feb 19	bgg
Core Worlds: Empires + Nemesis "Core Worlds: Empires" is the epic, standalone sequel to the "Core Worlds" card game. "Nemesis" is the original game's solo expansion. // Has raised $48,548 of $60,000 so far. (~81%)	1 - 4	515	$20 / $94	Feb 25	bgg #expansion
Crayne: Fractured Empire, a mission, a game, epic... Crayne: Fractured Empire is a high-fantasy epic deck-building card game with combat, high replay-ability and near limitless strategy! // Has raised A$5,121 of A$20,000 so far. (~26%)	1 - 6	64	$35 / A$80	Mar 04	bgg
Cult of the Deep 4-8 player hidden role dice game. You are a cultist, establishing your faction's rise to power as you fight over rituals and monsters. // Has raised $21,877 of $15,000 so far. (~146%) ☑	4 - 8	398	$35 / $55	Mar 03	bgg #take2
D-D 1944 A roll & write wargame that simulates parts of WWII. / Un wargame estilo roll & write que simula partes de la 2da. GM. // Has raised €535 of €100 so far. (~535%) ☑	1 - 3	106	$4 / €5	Feb 22	bgg
DEFCON 1 “War is not fatalistically inevitable.”—Nikita Khrushchev // Has raised €24,725 of €20,000 so far. (~124%) ☑	?	366	$85 / €68	Feb 23	bgg
Dodoresque Jungle Fever - 2021 Edition It's a funny, fast paced Card Game about colorful Dodos including 12 Eco-friendly Miniatures. Your game for the whole family. // Has raised €592 of €500 so far. (~118%) ☑	2 - 4	32	$26 / €19	Feb 11	bgg #take2 #newedition
DOOM MACHINE: A Mint Tin Card + Dice SOLO Game Can you destroy the ever-evolving DOOM MACHINE before humanity is lost? A pocket-sized pressure cooker fight for survival! // Has raised $24,577 of $2,500 so far. (~983%) ☑	1	838	$19 / $29	Mar 02	bgg
Dragons Fire Games: Gambler Gambler, a stand alone saloon brawl expansion to our flagship game Gunslinger. // Has raised $1,861 of $850 so far. (~219%) ☑	2 - 5	15	$15 / $124	Feb 28
Dragons Wild Quick Card Game of Mythical Creatures // Has raised NZ$1,396 of NZ$4,300 so far. (~32%)	2 - 6	34	$18 / NZ$41	Mar 06	bgg
Eggvolution Eggvolution is a strategy/random card game with the objective of destroying your friends. // Has raised €1,398 of €7,500 so far. (~19%)	2 - 6	41	$25 / €34	Mar 06
Embryo Machine — A Mecha Wargame A compact and accessible wargame from Japan for 2-6 players ft. fast-paced mecha combat across a modular grid-based battlefield. // Has raised $31,771 of $15,000 so far. (~212%) ☑	1 - 6	437	$45 / $73	Feb 18	bgg
Endangered World A Game of Protecting the Animal Kingdom // Has raised $652 of $12,000 so far. (~5%)	2 - 4	20	$34 / $33	Mar 09	bgg
ExeCUTEtion (Re-Launch) The Card Game of Adorable Capital Punishment // Has raised $3,292 of $20,000 so far. (~16%)	2 - 6	64	$24 / $51	Mar 07	#take2
Food Time Battle in Space A 2-4 player retro restaurant card game on the moon. Pushing your luck, risk-taking and planning are all required to earn 5 stars. // Has raised £1,357 of £4,000 so far. (~34%)	2 - 4	50	$21 / £27	Mar 02	bgg
Forbidden Psalm: Miniature gaming Inspired by Mörk Borg Table top miniature game. Inspired by and compatible with Mörk Borg. Rules light table top game.Miniature agnostic. Solo Play. Coop. VS // Has raised £2,870 of £300 so far. (~957%) ☑	1 - ?	104	$13 / £28	Feb 16
Games that Goblins Play. Playing Cards and New Games! Playing cards and rule book with new games. Goblin themed Zine! // Has raised $634 of $500 so far. (~127%) ☑	varies	30	$5 / $21	Feb 15
GRIDWARS: Age of Cyberpunk Complete Skirmish Wargame! 77+ Cyberpunk Sci-Fi STL Models! Terrain, Environment & Web App included! Put your miniatures into action! // Has raised €46,345 of €10,000 so far. (~463%) ☑	?	1052	$35 / €44	Feb 16
Jesters The Card Game - Let's Launch This Together Jesters is a fun, fast-paced new card game from the creator of the bestselling Quarantine The Card Game. // Has raised $759 of $8,000 so far. (~9%)	2 - 5	11	$20 / $69	Mar 04
King of Potato: A King-of-the-Hill Card Game A quick and strategic game where you compete to get the King. // Has raised $5,720 of $5,000 so far. (~114%) ☑	2 - 6	73	$19 / $78	Mar 01	bgg
Kingsfall: Guilds of Cendrenil An easy to learn 4X strategy board game set in a fantasy-lite world. // Has raised $3,169 of $16,000 so far. (~20%)	2 - 6	68	$40 / $47	Feb 23	bgg
Lift Every Voice and Meme - A Black Card Game Finally, a game for the culture, by the culture. // Has raised $2,720 of $10,000 so far. (~27%)	3 - 15	41	$30 / $66	Mar 04
MAO - Puzzle Card Game jeu de cartes // Has raised €43 of €200 so far. (~22%)	3 -10	3	$15 / €14	Mar 02
Maquis: 2nd Edition - Reprint with NEW Content! Maquis, the award-winning solo game of strategic worker placement, is getting reprinted with new missions! // Has raised $76,245 of $6,000 so far. (~1271%) ☑	1	3943	$5 / $19	Feb 25	bgg #newedition
Metro - Deluxe Big Box - City Edition 20th Anniversary of Metro! Time for new artwork, new expansions, and whole lot of component upgrades. // Has raised $75,800 of $10,000 so far. (~758%) ☑	1 - 6	605	$44 / $125	Feb 16	bgg #newedition
Moon Adventure, In a Grove and Dokojong - 月面探険・藪の中・ドコジャン 3 Games on Kickstarter by Oink Games - オインクゲームズの新作３つ // Has raised ¥9,623,468 of ¥1,000,000 so far. (~962%) ☑	varies	961	$62 / ¥10,014	Feb 26	bgg
Nations and Empires Use real historical leaders to develop your empires and conquer your opponents! // Has raised $1,097 of $15,000 so far. (~7%)	2 - 5	11	$45 / $100	Mar 05
Park Hero the game A board game based on traditional strategy games and America's national parks. // Has raised $1,069 of $14,500 so far. (~7%)	2 - 6	19	$55 / $56	Apr 02
Polysemous: The doors to other dimensions are open a chaotic, competitive, adventure board game filled with charm, chaos and betrayal. // Has raised A$3,854 of A$33,900 so far. (~11%)	2 - 6	41	$70 / A$94	Apr 01
Posthuman Saga & The Journey Home Expansion The Journey Home is the new chapter in Posthuman Saga, a post-apocalyptic, story-rich, strategic survival board game. // Has raised $48,087 of $20,000 so far. (~240%) ☑	1 - 4	953	$30 / $50	Feb 23	bgg #expansion #reprint
Ramming Robots! - a 1 - 2-player board game (PnP) A game where the more you ram your opponent's robot the more points you score! // Has raised $135 of $45 so far. (~300%) ☑	1 - 2	29	$3 / $5	Feb 28
Recarded A super fun party game // Has raised £696 of £4,500 so far. (~15%)	2 - 8	18	$35 / £39	Mar 05
Rock Paper Scissors: The Board Game A board game offering a new take on the classic rock paper scissors game! // Has raised €562 of €5,000 so far. (~11%)	2	18	$35 / €31	Mar 17
Royalty Assemble great nobles of the 15th century in a fun twist to this classic card game // Has raised $81 of $2,000 so far. (~4%)	2 - 6	5	$15 / $16	Mar 05
Space Weirdos A sci-fi skirmish wargame for whatever minis you have around. #zinequest // Has raised $921 of $100 so far. (~921%) ☑	2	124	$4 / $7	Feb 18
The Belgian Beers Race US edition The US localization of Belgian Beers Race board game. Race through Belgium, visiting breweries and enjoying beers. // Has raised $11,114 of $1,000 so far. (~1111%) ☑	2 - 4	112	$99 / $99	Feb 12	bgg
The Best Recycler Fun Card Game for sensitizing against recycling, and consume fairly. // Has raised C$1 of C$4537 so far. (~0%)	7+	1	$12 / C$1	Mar 21
The Elf Shelf High quality shelf solutions for your miniatures and dice. // Has raised $1,013 of $40 so far. (~2532%) ☑	-	14	$29 / $72	Feb 17	#bling
The Fisherman Board Game All the magic of fishing for big ocean Fishes, unknown species, life on a boat, the crew and the sea in a unique board game // Has raised €299 of €15,000 so far. (~2%)	2 - 4	5	$67 / €60	Mar 05	#take2
The Lighthouse At The Edge Of The Universe - Solo RPG A solo journalling game about running a lighthouse on the edge of the universe. // Has raised A$2,576 of A$270 so far. (~954%) ☑	1	202	$5 / A$13	Feb 18	#rpg
Time Editors: A time travel themed board game Save the past and control the use of time travel! // Has raised $13,277 of $55,600 so far. (~24%)	2 - 4	196	$59 / $68	Mar 04	bgg #take2
Toxic Takeover Board Game Dice duel and battle your way to home safe before the mad scientist takes over the world and you’re turned into a lil monster! Hurry! // Has raised $101 of $14,100 so far. (~1%)	2 - 5	3	$55 / $34	Mar 08
Truth, Dare or Spoon! A game of Truth of Dare with consequences you can taste! // Has raised $1,491 of $1,000 so far. (~149%) ☑	2 - 8	17	$39 / $88	Mar 04
Way of the Patriarchs Travel through the Land of Israel on the path of the forefathers - roll a die, collect cards, and move your piece through ancient sites // Has raised $3,007 of $8,000 so far. (~38%)	2 - 5	35	$40 / $86	Mar 13
Welcome to Sysifus Corp - A cut-throat corporate board game Race to the coveted promotion using office politics to backstab your fellow coworkers. // Has raised $13,218 of $15,000 so far. (~88%)	2 - 4	138	$40 / $96	Mar 04	bgg
WINNING SO MUCH FLIPPIN' FUN // Has raised $24 of $10 so far. (~240%) ☑	1 - 3	6	$5 / $4	Mar 04	#lolwut

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Footnotes

#hmm means that something about the project seems a little off. Buyer beware kinda thing.
#lolwut is reserved for projects that seem like copycat games or campaigns put together with little thought. Check 'em out for amusement.
#take tags are for projects that have been restarted for some reason, with the number indicating what iteration we're currently on.
Did I miss something? Particularly something new in the last 7 days or ending in the next 7 days? Let me know in the comments and I'll add it in.

Tip Jar

If you enjoy theses lists, maybe toss me a buck now and then. Signing up for a free AirTable account via my referral link can help, too. Plus, it's swell!

I am in my early 30s, make $75k a year ($120k joint), live in the South, work as a Development Director, and hate capitalism but love a little luxury!

Edited to remove the tables because when I obsessively checked this post on my phone I couldn't read them?? Also I tried to, but was prevented from, editing the title. I know it looks sanctimonious but that's just one small part of my personality I swear. D:
❤️ Section 1: Assets and Debt
Total Net Worth: $30,875 - all equity.
Retirement Balance: $0 for me; $20,500 for my husband in the state pension program for teachers. (My partner, L, has been paying into the state teachers' pension system for 5 years. For most of my 20s, I either worked at very low-paying jobs, or supported myself and others on a teacher’s salary, so no retirement for me. My current job does not have a retirement program, but one of my goals for this year is to either start a Roth IRA or get a new job with a 401k match… or maybe both?)
Savings Account Balance: $23,733 We’re moving this summer to a city closer to our families, and are saving all we can for a down payment on a dreamy spot. After we move, some amount of what’s left over will go into a retirement fund, and the rest will stay in this HYSA as our emergency fund. For us, three months of expenses, including childcare, is about $18,000.
Checking Account Balance: $455
Credit Card Debt: n/a, pay off each month
Student Loan Debt: $80,000 for L’s undergrad and MAT. $18,000 for my undergrad and (unfinished) MAT. (My undergrad degrees were mostly covered by the Pell Grant, scholarships, and a $10,000 529 from my parents. L was a nontraditional student - didn’t start undergrad until he was 24 - so none of his was covered. Most of my debt is for a MAT program I dropped out of after one year. I was trying to find any way out of teaching at the time (it is demanding, all-consuming, and carceral at once) and thought a PhD would be my only route. When I got my current job I promptly left the program and any dreams of a PhD behind.)
Equity: $83,875 (This number is from an online equity calculator, and is for our house in a very popular neighborhood in a very popular city. Our outstanding debt on the house is $295,000. We put our whole savings down in 2019, which was $9,000 at the time.)
❤️ Section 2: Income
Monthly Take Home: My base pay is $65,000, and L’s is $45,000. I worked a side gig last year that totaled about $10k in additional compensation; all of it went to savings so we don't budget for it. My take home is $4096/month for my full time job, and my current side gig income (grant writing) is variable, between $300 and $600 a month. L’s take home is $2262/month. My health insurance is paid in full by work. L’s insurance and B’s come out of L’s paycheck, as does L’s retirement contribution.
Income Progression: I’ve been working since I was 15 years old, moved out for college at 18, and paid my own bills starting that year. I won’t include that money here though (it was like $12,000 a year as a college student, for reference). Income below starts when I graduated with two BAs that had nothing to do with teaching.
Year 1: $15,600 (part time ABA therapist, full time baby anarchist)
Year 2: $32,000 (year 1 teacher salary: I accepted a spot in Teach for America for this giant salary even though I thought it was an obnoxious neoliberal org. Yes, I was also obnoxious at the time.)
Year 3: $33,000 (teacher, step increase)
Year 4: $34,000 (teacher, step increase)
Year 5: $35,000 (teacher, step increase)
Year 6: $15,000 (community organizer; at the time this felt like a dream job)
Year 7: $20,000 (community organizer & cafe worker)
Year 8: $40,000 (back to teaching, felt rich; this includes a side hustle writing grants on the side for $50 an hour)
Year 9: $45,000 (left teaching for my current job, quit the grants side hustle)
Year 10: $55,000 (got a raise, got pregnant)
Year 11: $65,000 (got a raise and promotion, had a baby)
Year 12: $75,000 (was promoted again in January but waiting on the pay increase to hit, hopefully with backdating. This money diary doesn’t reflect this salary as it hasn’t been reflected in my check yet)
❤️ Section 3: Expenses
Mortgage/PMI/Insurance: $2,110
Retirement Contribution: n/a (L’s retirement is pulled out of his check before he receives it: it’s $169 a month. Right now, I don’t have a retirement contribution)
Savings Contribution: $1000 to main savings, $400 to sinking fund (This is a super aggressive goal for us and is only possible because our childcare costs are covered by work)
Debt Payments: n/a right now (We have student loans to the tune of $100k but haven’t been paying a dime since they were paused due to COVID. But then the other day I checked and saw they've gained interest? Should we be paying them then? WWJD? I legit don’t know.)
Electric: $130
Internet: $100
Cellphone: $65 (For L & I both. We are on a bigass family plan with 40 gajillion other people.)
Subscriptions: $45 ($10 Spotify; $10 Youtube music; $2.99 Apple data (Why?!); $22 NYT (for newspaper and cooking app); also have a split subscription to the New Yorker with bestie F but we paid for a yearly deal.)
Car Payment and Insurance: $150 for a car payment; $202 for insurance (Insurance covers both of our used cars and my dad’s used handicap van. Our car payment is for our used Honda. We only owe $6,850 on the car and I’m back and forth on whether to pay it off with savings)
Medical/Therapy: $0 (My therapist is $140 a session, and I just started seeing her again once a month, but this is reimbursed by work. I also get an inhaler at least twice a month - that’s reimbursed too, costs $60 total.)
Misfits Market: $120 (For a weekly box, which really helps us cut down on overall grocery cost)
Gym membership: $30 (For my intense local yoga studio’s app which is so great in the winter. We also run and bike a lot, as long as it’s warm enough)
Donations: $100 (We give monthly to our local Democratic Socialists of America; the Working Families Party; and a small, local org. I’m also on an organizing committee for that org. We’ll give them one big gift of at least $250 this year, probably in May. I support a couple organizations with grant writing and grant-finding support as much as I can, which usually amounts to a few hours a month.)
Childcare: $0 B goes to a very precious Montessori preschool, and we can walk him there. It’s pricey af ($1300/month). The other $200 is to account for some babysitting from my little sister when L or I have to work weird hours. For now, work reimburses this full amount as a COVID perk; if that changes, we will have to cut costs significantly.
House cleaner: $160 (They come twice a month and charge $80 each time.)
❤️ Section 4: Money Diary
NOTE: We are masked and afraid everywhere we go.
✨DAY 1: THURSDAY✨
4:20 am: Good morning world! I shuffle into the kitchen in my panties and my slippers to fill up the gooseneck kettle. I recently got into pour over coffee even though it’s quite a commitment. With a toddler, a full-time job, and a Libra sun, I don’t really have time for meditative morning routines. This lengthy, half-naked coffee regimen is my closest attempt. As soon as I get the coffee brewing, our 18 month old, B, starts making noise. I open the door and see he’s got his pacifier in his mouth and his pillow in his arms. He wants to lay with Dada. I help him get in the bed with my husband, L, as quietly as possible. Last week L was super sick and we thought for sure he had picked up COVID. Blessedly all of our tests came back negative, but on the heels of that, he started having major tooth pain and had to have an emergency tooth extraction, AND he got an ear infection as he was coming down from whatever virus he had. I hate it :(
I get dressed and do some chores while they snooze to ease L's morning. I start the diaper laundry (usually his job - we use cloth), put away the dishes, start the Eufy vacuum, and get B and L’s breakfasts together: sunbutter and a little bit of syrup on some banana pancakes I prepped earlier this week.
6:30 am: B and L are up! The hour before we take B to preschool is kind of a marathon. L eats with B (and supervises his syrup consumption) as I clean out some more dirty diapers, brush my teeth, make another cup of coffee, strip our sheets, spray my hair with water to refresh the curl, return a few group texts, and wash some breakfast dishes. Somewhere in here I also eat two boiled eggs with Everything But the Bagel seasoning, and a bunch of grapes.
I help L get B loaded up in the car, and just as they pull off, my parents Facetime me. They’re calling to see B but are polite enough to talk to me for a few minutes. They live a few hours away, and are divorced, but cohabitating. The full story is long and spiritual for me so I’ll spare you. Anyway, my mom and I talk for a while about this couch she thinks I should buy from one of her friends, but it’s two hours away and we’d have to rent a U-Haul, so I think we’ll pass. I do hate our current couch though. Please drop comfy toddler- and dog-friendly recommendations in the comments!
8:15 am: I set out to walk the dog and listen to the Daily’s recent update on the coronavirus. Donald G. McNeill, Jr., says we’re in this through the summer, which is a bummer on the personal and global front, but I suppose it could be worse??? Maybe?? As soon as they finish talking I switch over to You’re Wrong About. I’m deep in the Jessica Simpson series and highly recommend this pod for any other nerdy, lefty, kinda burnt out millennials, especially those of you that are queer or queer-adjacent. Once home, I take my whole operation onto the front porch to work, since the cleaner will be here soon and I don’t want to crowd her in this time of COVID. I LOVE a clean house and I love paying someone else to do the big stuff, which is a recent luxury for us.
11:00 am: I’ve been working steadily in my email and google docs for a couple hours now, and it’s COLD out here. The cleaner leaves and I am grateful to go back into the heat. I Venmo her $80 for the cleaning (included in monthly expenses). I take a break from work and check out the job boards. My current job is the best, and highest-paying, gig I’ve ever had, but I’m planning to leave some time this year for several reasons. The premier reason: I recently learned that I’m qualified for several positions that pay over $100k at similar organizations. With that kind of money we could pay off our student loans, help our families out more, make sizable donations, and L could explore a career outside of teaching without freaking about a slight cut in his pay for a few years as he finds his niche. Or - maybe he’ll get into Edtech somehow and we’ll join Resource Generation. Who knows.
12:30 pm: I have a quick break and pull together lunch: half a cheese quesadilla, a big bowl of Smitten Kitchen’s roasted tomato soup, and a LimonCello LaCroix. L is on his planning period and asks me to edit his most recent job application, and I oblige. Since we’re both job hunting, I ask him if I can buy a resume template and guide on Etsy. I have sworn off online shopping for the year to curb my impulse spending, but he says we’ll just count this one as his purchase. Great news because I hate the formatting of my resume from 2016 and don’t want to fix it myself! $9.95
3:30 pm: My Zooms are over, my inbox is at 0, and I put up my out of office message because I’m taking the day off tomorrow to work on my resume and do some things to prep our house for sale. My high-functioning anxiety created an ambitious backwards timeline for this process back in December, and that timeline currently runs my life. I work for a few more minutes to tie up loose ends, and then walk O to a nearby shop to buy my favorite candle, curbside-style. When I get there the owner gives me some percentage off because it’s slightly discolored from the sun. Huzzah! $27.25, marked down from $40
4:45 pm: My angel of a baby sister, J, who lives just a few blocks away and is in a pod with us, comes to hang out with B for an hour so L can rest. I head to my good friend D’s place for my investment overalls appointment. She's going to alter their awkward wide leg into more of a tapered, mom jean shape. I have a capsule wardrobe which means I’ll wear these babies at least once a week, and plus I get to pay my friend, so I’m fine with the extra expense. When I arrive, she and her partner have the fire pit going, and we drink a couple glasses of wine together, yet more than 6 feet apart. I learn they are planning to move to the same new city as us in the next couple of years and legit cry happy tears.
Afterwards, I head out to pick up dinner for tonight. We are getting burgers from L’s favorite place as a treat. On my way, the WOLF MOON appears over the water and my stomach does triple flips. Then I pick up our dinner: a veggie burger with eggplant jam and kale for me; a real-meat burger with mushrooms, bacon, swiss, carmelized onion, and horseradish mayo for L; and an appetizer plate with pretzels, pimento cheese, onion jam, pickles, and chips for B. Delicious and unhealthy. The total is $34.54.
6:30: Home and eating dinner. B loves his meal, especially the “chokes.” He calls pretzels “chokes” because when L first started feeding them to him, I worried aloud that he would choke every time. I just couldn’t stop thinking about how a pretzel almost took out George W. Bush. Turns out our toddler is better at chewing than George W. Bush.
After dinner, L gives B a bubble bath while I do my own, very minimal, bedtime routine. Then L and I lay down with B to put him to sleep. He has a floor bed, which is a Montessori thing I learned about on mom blogs. L is a very hot and talented woodworker, so he took my floor bed dream to the next level by building a lovely house-shaped frame. The top beam is wrapped in twinkle lights and fake ivy. It’s a nice place to sleep, and we pass out here all the time.
10:30 pm: L wakes me up and we wander to our own bed.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 71.74
✨ DAY 2: FRIDAY✨
4:15 am: Wake up and go look at the clock. Decide this is a silly time to get up on a day off, drink some water, and go lay back down. But once in bed all I can think about is how much I want to read the news, organize my resume, and update this money diary. This is the problem with falling asleep at toddler time. So I get up again at 4:45, make my coffee, read a New Yorker article about Biden’s pandemic response on my phone, and sit down to work on this diary.
6:00 am: L wakes up! He works on breakfast for himself and B and I start meal planning for the month. This is one of my best and most recent life hacks. I found that if I chart out our cooking, weekly takeout, and leftovers at the start of the month, we save lots of money and are so much less stressed about the labor that goes into feeding ourselves. I pull out Smitten Kitchen Every Day and use it to inspire the month’s meals. So quaint to cook from an actual BOOK.
6:45 am: B walks out of our room and announces that he drank my water off the side table. He’s so proud! And so ready to eat. While he eats breakfast, I snack on some grapes and, at B’s request, blast 7 Days A Week by They Might Be Giants. This is the consummate children’s song for any household that dreams of a self-determined world. Over the next hour I take B to school; make myself a real breakfast (a soy chorizo and egg taco); and browse TikTok. Eventually I find a series about this Gamestop situation by a smart Irish woman and L and I watch it together. When it’s over we feel like shrewd stock brokers ready to win money, and L gets to work teaching virtually.
I spend the morning painting our front door and our kitchen wall to prep our house to sell, and talking to my (other) little sister on the phone. She’s an HR person with a job that’s taken her far away from our family, and we don’t talk that often. It is so good to catch up on her life. After that I have a fun, day-off Zoom call with longtime bestie and coworker K. We drink coffee and talk about The Future.
12:30 pm: I make lunch (tomato soup with goat cheese on top, and a savory scone on the side) and get a text from another bestie, M, who offers me a little grant writing contract work this week. Yay! I love them and love working with them. Next, I order our groceries for the week. I get baking powder, eggs, cremini mushrooms, vegan sausage patties, oat milk, ginger root, shredded cheddar cheese, plantains, black beans, doggy bags, broccoli, vegan chicken strips, artichoke hearts, roasted red peppers, capers, ciabatta bread, grits, bananas, avocados, greek yogurt, and on impulse, a pineapple on sale (?!). Maybe B will love it. The total comes to $94.08.
1:15 pm: I do a brief power vinyasa class in B’s room and take a shower. It takes me approximately two Drake songs to shower and dry off, as I don’t have to wash my hair today and I never shave. I work on my resume until L and I leave to pick up B. On the way home we stop at the park to play, and then we all get in the car to pick up groceries.
6:30 pm: We get home later than planned and eat together: leftover tofu ramen for us and veggie lasagna for B, who is so sleepy that he hardly touches his lasagna. L gets him in the bath around 7:15 and I run through my evening routine. There’s a lot going on in the house - preschool lunch and clothes to put up, a mountain of laundry in our room, all of the groceries for the week waiting to be put away, and dinner dishes are languishing in the sink. L starts on chores while I get B dressed.
As I’m dressing B, my mom Facetimes and B shows her several of his board books. While we’re talking my dad texts me a heart emoji - he overheard B and my mom talking from his room. He lives with a disability and a painful illness, so he goes to bed very early. We hang up with my mom and record a video of B making “P” sounds and saying “I love you” to my dad, and send it over. This is the first time B’s ever said “I love you!” Huge news. We read books and fall asleep next to B.
9 pm: I wake up and nudge L but he wants to keep sleeping. I go clean the dinner dishes, put away the food and reorganize the cabinets and fridge, and mop the kitchen floor while I listen to The Daily’s latest reporting on QAnon believers who are at once totally bananagrams and also remind me very much of my aunt. L wakes up at 9:30 because he and Y, my sister’s boyfriend, are gonna game. Cute! He finishes the laundry and I fold a few diapers to help out. Then we lay in bed together until game time, when I fall asleep.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 94.08
✨DAY 3: SATURDAY✨
5:40 am: Wake up at a ~*~weekend hour~*~!! Start my kettle, clean and moisturize my face, pull out the ingredients for waffles, and pick up around the house while I wait for it to boil. I try to read some, but get bored a few pages in. I’m currently reading How to Do Nothing and it’s good enough, but I think I need to chill on the nonfiction and read, like, saucy romance novels with hot bisexual leads. Send me your recs please!
Waffle time! This recipe is my go-to. I recommend whipping the egg whites first. B wakes up around 7:15 and helps me cook which is cute and very messy. He eats his waffle with honey, peanut butter, and grapes. L wakes up after him - he had a late night gaming!
8 am: I open yesterday’s mail and find an anti-abortion DVD from L’s grandma. It’s Abby Johnson’s “memoir.” Abby Johnson is an opportunistic right winger and documented liar who once moonlighted as a Planned Parenthood clinic manager. L is a preacher’s kid, so we’re not surprised to receive this from his grandma. For example: 10 years ago, when L and I were a couple years into our relationship, her Christmas gift to me was a book about how one can recover from being a slut by getting married and finding Jesus. This particular package really sends me over the edge, though. I decide to write them a short note later that states my own experience with abortion and sets a clear boundary on this kind of propaganda, and includes an article about Abby Johnson’s bullshit life. It’s unlikely this will change their minds - they are septuagenarian Southern Baptists, after all - but at least I’ll be in my integrity.
In the meantime, I group text L’s siblings, and they commiserate with us. His one sibling who is transitioning shares that grandma recently sent them a book about how to tell your gay friends they’re sinning. We agree that’s hilariously dense (and fucking rude) of her, and talk about how everyone under forty is a gay slut living their best life, so really it’s grandma’s loss. During this time I clean the kitchen, finish the waffles, and freeze them for B’s weekday breakfasts.
9:30 am: B asks to use the potty and does a great job peeing on his own! He’s geeked about it and is especially excited to have my parents on Facetime cheering him on. After that we head out on our morning walk. L takes B to the playground and I take O to the dog park nearby. She gets tired pretty quick and we all head to the thrift store. We need chairs for our hand-me-down kitchen table. The ones that came with it are awkwardly wide. L spots two sturdy ones that are just $5 each. Score! $10
11:30 am: B and L are both wiped out once we get home. They eat lunch and go to sleep. I clean up the kitchen, repot one of my plants, water our porch plants, and eat some leftover ramen for lunch. The Marie Antoinette episode of You’re Wrong About keeps me company all the while. 10/10 would recommend.
2 pm: B wakes up and eats some lunch. We watercolor together for a while (he on his big paper, I in my bullet journal), then walk down the street to the local high school while L preps potatoes for our fondue. The high school grounds are open on the weekends, and there’s an amphitheatre on site. B loves the echo in there.
4:30 pm: L joins us in the amphitheatre and together we drag B two blocks back home. I prep the fondue: brie, gouda, and more gouda with white wine. It ends up being a little clumpy but so delicious. My sister, J, and her boyfriend, Y arrive while I’m cooking. Y brings yummy baguettes from his bakery job for the dipping and we prep broccoli, green beans, and tempeh too. We sit down in our new chairs to eat and for the zillionth time I am so thankful we’ve been able to make a pod together this year. Fondue would be a terrifying proposition with anyone else, really.
While we eat, Y tells us he put in his two weeks at the bakery because their COVID protocols aren’t so tight and his coworkers are continuing to go to bars and out to eat. His plan for now is to get back on unemployment and find a virtual job sometime soon. Both he and my sister have worked food service their whole adult lives so the pandemic has been tough on them. Besides the fact that they’re delightful and perfect, this is one key reason we’re planning to move with them to our new city this summer: L and I will be able to easily afford the majority of the rent, deposits, and utilities on a pretty big, and centrally located, house. Living together will allow us to grow our savings and take our time looking for a Forever Home, and will allow J and Y to pay really low rent as my sister goes back to school full time and Y looks for a full-time job. I’m really looking forward to living with them and know it’ll be good for B, too. They leave around 7 pm and we put B to bed, this time without falling asleep ourselves!
8:30 pm: Turn on How I Met Your Mother in bed and the episodes are baaaaad bad. One entire episode casts sex workers as a punch line. Ick. L and I agree to find a new show, and fall asleep around 10.
11 pm - 2 am: B is up and between our two beds. Wahhhh.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 10
✨DAY 4: SUNDAY✨
6 am: Up and at ‘em! Discover I’m out of my fancy coffee and don’t want to emphasize the flavor of our grocery store beans with a slow pour, so make a french press instead. B wakes up too early so we watch toddlers together on TikTok while I drink my coffee, then read books while L makes us all eggs for breakfast. We head out for our morning walk around 9 am and stop at a coffee shop a few blocks away. I pick up Counter Culture’s Iridescent beans, buy an espresso brownie on a whim, and tip the cashier because she’s so sweet and tipping is good. The total is 23.03. L takes B to the playground and I drop my purchases and O back at the house before I head out for a run.
9:45 am: It’s 65 degrees and my run is glorious. I run to the water and pause Lil Yachty for a minute to take it all in. Once home I shower and put on a black LA Apparel catsuit and a marled black and white cocoon sweater from AA of the past (I like what I like!). We feed B lunch and then L puts him down while I clean up.
Around 11:30, J comes over after to watch B while we remove the storm windows from our whole house and clean the windows underneath as part of our work to prep the house for sale. We’re a solid team: L removes the storm windows and caulks all the gaps in the wood while I follow behind him and wash the windows inside and out. Our sweet neighbor catches us cleaning and offers to let us use her power washer for free next weekend to clean up the front of the house. I resolve to bake them some cookies.
2:30 pm: We are done with the window operation and it’s time for me to water all 57 plants in the house. Along the way, discover that I overwatered B’s hoya last week and it’s rotting. Noooo! I unpot it on the porch to dry the roots, but it’s raining so this might not work. There’s only one surefire solution: buy a replacement plant! I try to convince L we should go to the nursery, but he’s not so into it. I walk around dejectedly with a towel to clean up all the water I spilled, and Zelle J $70 for babysitting even though she insists she would do it for free. Next B, L, and I share a snack: crackers with goat cheese and harissa. Mmm. B skips the harissa but loves the goat cheese. Meanwhile I begin to stress about making dinner. We’d planned goddess bowls but L and I just aren’t feeling it after our marathon of house work. L requests Chinese and is suddenly more amenable to visiting the nursery, which is near our favorite Chinese takeout spot. Score!
5:00 pm: We leave the plant shop with a heartleaf philodendron for B’s room and a giant, lovely, perfect monstera deliciosa just because. The total comes to $53.24. Then we pick up our food: $33.08 including the tip. L ordered a large veggie lo mein to share with B and General Tso’s chicken, and I got family style tofu and vegetables. We start B’s bedtime routine at 6:30 and he’s out by 7:00 - early for him!
After he’s down, L preps his breakfast sandwiches for the week and I do some dishes. Then we take mutual advantage of the extra hour we have together. Even after 12 years it’s always so good with L. I fall asleep around 10 pm feeling blessed.
🌿 Daily total: 179.32
✨DAY 5: MONDAY✨
5 am: I make my pour over and get started on work first thing. I have a couple of deadlines this week and the side gig to balance so I’m already feeling pressed for time! I wrap up an entire grant report before 6 am and feel very accomplished. Then I pause work to start our breakfast, which is all pre-prepped, hallelujah. While L and B eat breakfast, I get dressed in a black turtleneck minidress, busted old tights, black ankle socks, and my Doc Martens.
I help L load up the car with B and all his gear, and tell L to be careful. Today is L’s first day back teaching in person since December, and we’re both nervous since COVID is still running wild in our red state. On the way to work he fills up his car for $18.33.
2:30 pm: After another grant report, seventy gajillion emails, forty Slack messages, and several hours of Zoom calls, I’m ready for a break. I finish eating the quinoa salad I prepped during Zoom call #2 and then eat a pear too. I see our Misfits box has been delivered. It’s $30 a week, and is included in our monthly expenses. I unpack it, clean the counters, wipe down the bathroom sinks, take O for a walk, and sit down to work on my side gig grant report, which is due Wednesday. I set a 30 minute timer because I don’t want to be too late picking up B.
4:25 pm: Worked longer than I meant to! Pack some snacks and pick up B. On the way home we get a giant bag of potting soil so I can repot those plants. It’s $18.52. Come home and engage in B’s favorite winter activity: pressing all the buttons in the turned-off car. Meanwhile, in another car across town, L picks up a big bag of Purina One, butter, maple syrup, and applesauce. That total is $28.64.
5:30 pm: The whole family is home and we kick it inside until it starts to get dark. L and I gather all the things and take the creatures out for a walk even though there’s a light, but very cold, rain happening. B is cranky and so are we, so the walk is quick.
We eat leftover Chinese food around 7 and start B’s bedtime routine. B falls asleep at 8 and I update this diary for a while, then go watch Ted Lasso in bed with L til about 9:30. It’s much better than How I Met Your Mother, for the record.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 65.51
✨Day 6: TUESDAY✨
3 am: B wakes up and needs a diaper change. I have the hardest time falling back asleep after: I can’t stop thinking about how I left B’s hoya out in the cold with its roots exposed most of the day yesterday and into tonight. But it’s too cold for me to get up again and pull it inside! So instead I toss and turn and hope it’s not dead yet.
6 am: L’s alarm wakes me up! No early morning reading and writing time for me. I get right up, make a giant pour over, and get breakfast together while L wakes up B. Then I actually sit down with them to eat: B and I both eat boiled eggs with everything but the bagel seasoning and some coconut milk yogurt, and L sips his coffee while his breakfast sandwich heats in the oven. I get dressed in my workout gear and walk the dog while L gets B ready for school. They leave, and I finally bring the hoya in, and start work, around 7:30. L buys coffee and snacks from the gas station on his way to work: $6.88.
9:30 am: I grab some crackers and peanut butter from the kitchen and notice a DMV bill on the fridge I’ve been meaning to pay, but don’t totally understand. I call them up and respond to emails while I sit on hold. Turns out I owe the DMV $10 for paying my Dad’s van insurance late. With the “processing fee” it comes to $11.17.
1:30 pm: Been on Zoom calls all morning, and decide to switch over to the side gig work for a bit. Meanwhile I eat that quinoa salad I prepped yesterday. At 2 pm, my longtime bestie and neighbor F comes over and we take O for a walk in the park together and have such a good conversation. While the context is (very) different, I’m reminded of the Toni Morrison quote when I think of F: “She’s a friend of my mind.” Such a gem, and such a smartie. At 3:30 I start a HIIT yoga class and it kicks my butt even though it’s only 20 minutes long. Afterwards, I shower and pick up B.
5:00 pm: L arrives home while B and I are playing, and we get in the car once more to check out a cute couch L scoped out on Facebook marketplace. It’s a sweet vintage brown velvet actually-for-real midcentury situation. Unfortunately we discover it’s also small and very uncomfortable. $200 not spent. Once home, my family goes for a walk and I make dinner - this grits and beans recipe from NYT cooking. It’s blessedly quick to pull together. Meanwhile D texts me and says my overalls are ready! YAY! She’s gonna drop them off in a couple of days. She says the total is $30. I include a tip and Venmo her $40.
7:00 pm: At bedtime, B cannot get enough of his books and we read All The World several times. He finally falls asleep around 8:20 and L and I eat dinner on the couch, with Ted Lasso. I drink a glass of red wine, which is a mistake: my anxiety spikes right after, my stomach hurts, and I can’t sleep. This is very upsetting as I want very much to be a wine mom. Does this happen to anyone else?
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 58.05
✨DAY 7: WEDNESDAY✨
5:45 am: Wake up with B cuddled into my back - L moved him to our bed in the middle of the night after his second wake up. Get my coffee and breakfast together and sit down at my computer to work on the side gig grant while everyone's asleep. Then L and I manage the morning rush together. I eat sourdough toast, two scrambled eggs, and some pineapple along the way.
7:30 am: Take O out for a walk and on a whim decide to listen to one of my favorite easy-listening pods: A Beautiful Mess. Normally the two sisters and co-hosts, Elsie and Emma, chat about things like home decor or craft making or how to balance kids and work. This episode is about the host’s evangelical upbringing, though, and is a real raw and honest tear jerker. Pair it with this, one of my top reads of 2020: “What Does the White Evangelical Want?” It gets me thinking about L’s upbringing in the church. He and all his siblings are all agnostic now.
Finally sit down at my desk and debate taking Adderall. I used it regularly in college and for a few years after in order to Do All The Things. I try to stay away from it now - I’m not trying to live an impossible life any more - but I also really want to pick B up earlier than normal today, and that means I need to meet all my deadlines and make it through two Zoom calls with my direct reports by 3 pm. I decide to take 4 mg. Right after I take it, three different friends text me at once and then, suddenly, I’ve spent an hour catching up via text. Get to work for real around 9 am.
3:00 pm: Wrapped all my calls, answered all my emails, washed all the dishes, ate some lunch, and finished the side gig work! OK Adderall, you beautiful bitch. Spend a few more minutes tying up loose ends and then gather my things to pick B up from school. The plan today is to go “play basketball” in the park near his school because he is OBSESSED with balls, and I’m trying to do more magical things every day with him. It’s cold but I’m ready to brave it on his precious, curly-headed behalf.
At 4 pm J calls and asks to go pick him up with me. Hooray, things just got even more magical! We head to a different-than-usual park together and run around until B sits in, and then drinks from, a puddle. We panic and J googles “What happens if my baby drinks from a puddle?” The search returns lots of stories of babies eating muddy rocks and surviving, so we decide it’s ok.
5:00 pm Head home and L is back from work! We take the smols on a walk and I tell L that I think nighttime screentime is making me anxious. I’m a sensitive creature and I really don’t want to blame the wine. He’s very perfect so he helps me think through an alternate plan for this evening: hot tea and book reading in bed, and maybe sex, too! Fun.
Next, I head home with O to pot the plants we bought the other day, and L takes B to the playground. They get back around 6:30 and I am very excited to reveal my new plant placements. Everyone feigns interest except O. Then we eat leftovers together and B gets in bed around 7:30. L and I promptly fall asleep next to him and don’t wake up again til 11 pm. Guess our new nighttime routine will have to wait til tomorrow!
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 0
❤️ Section 5: TOTALS
Total Expenses: $478.71
Food & Drink: $220.25
Fun & Entertainment: $0
Home & Health: $109.01
Clothes & Beauty: $40
Transport: $29.50
Other: $79.95
❤️ Section 6: REFLECTION
This week reflects a new normal for us, I think! We just set the goal of saving up for another down payment in December, and that’s when I swore off online shopping both to save money and to stop lining the pockets of evil billionaires like Bezos (no shade to anyone who uses Amazon, this is purely a personal goal & I’m not sure I can meet it). This self-imposed rule is helping me reign in my discretionary spending overall. L and I have only been living a two-income, middle class life for a few years, and my lifestyle creep was a little out of control in 2020. That said, I can and do still regularly justify spending money on things that make life more luxurious and beautiful - like a $40 candle or a totally unnecessary but very lovely plant.
There are a couple of things not reflected in this diary that we regularly spend on: gifts (my achilles heel - for example, we spent three! thousand! dollars! on Christmas gifts in December), and medical bills. Both B and I had to visit the emergency room in 2020 and we are still getting random bills in the mail as our insurance company and the hospital duke it out. As I was editing this diary on Thursday, I received one for $787. Wahhhh. I think I’m gonna get on a payment plan, but even so that it will be over $200 a month.
Last thought: this process got me thinking in some detail about the contradiction of organizing for the fall of capitalism (and the rise of a more gentle and just economic system), yet believing everyone - including ourselves and our own families - deserve to live full and abundant lives. This means I compromise my own anti-capitalist values and beliefs every day, in big and small ways. Discuss?

So, you wanna see BTS live? A guide to ticketing.

Ticketing for BTS is a bloodbath, not gonna lie. Especially with the influx of a lot of fans who will want to see them live post-quarantine. I was able to get my hands on some twice, although it was a very intense and fast paced process. Keep in mind, I am writing this from the perspective of someone who has only seen BTS in the US. I think a lot of the advice is still applicable internationally, but I can’t provide detail on that.
Cost
BTS tickets, in comparison to the other artists who are in their caliber of popularity, actually aren’t hugely expensive. You can get nosebleed seats at around 60-80 USD a pop. BTS tickets range from $60 to $300 USD face value per person (not including fees) at first sale value depending on where you sit. The average price of a ticket according to Ticketmaster is $299 (with fees). The only official initial ticketing site for BTS is TicketMaster. Don’t forget about the cost of transportation, food, lodging, and merch! If you’re gonna buy merch, you will probably spend a few hundred. Allocate $50 dollars per person for food/drink. Transportation and lodging heavily depend on your proximity to a venue, but it will probably be a few hundred for a hotel room. Transportation heavily depends.
Seats
It really depends on the venue. Being close without actually being on the floor is probably your best bet. To prevent mobbing, all of the floor seats have actual chairs, but it can get quite intense down there and the tickets are more expensive. Lower 1st level seats close to the stage are what I consider to be the optimum. However, if you want the chance of getting to see BTS really close up, then you’ll wanna look for floor seats, but those can range from 300-500 USD at face value. The only VIP experience is soundcheck. These tickets are more expensive, but you’ll be let in with a small group of fans for floor seats and get to see BTS do their mic checks. There’s a higher chance of interaction with them there, but it is more expensive. Hi-touch and meet and greets aren’t something that BTS do now.
Even if you don’t get your ideal seats, there are huge screens and the staff do live camerawork and follow BTS around so you’ll have a good view. The show itself is very immersive, around three hours with no opening acts, and the production value is quite literally insane. If you want a taste, look up the concert performances of Anpanman, Euphoria, Dionysus, and Mikrokosmos of YouTube. Your seats won’t matter much when you get there. The vibe of being in a concert, enjoying music with your fellow ARMY, and getting to see BTS is magical.
Safety
BTS concerts in comparison to others that I have attended tend to be quite safe. ARMY as a fandom are pretty respectful and security guards have even said that they were blown away by how polite and well-mannered most fans are. However, there are always exceptions and it’s better to be safe than sorry. The times I felt most unsafe were trying to leave the concert because it was late at night and there’s so many people, but if you plan right, you’ll be fine. I recommend not attending alone if you can, but I wouldn’t be worried if that isn’t a possibility. For context, my first BTS concert I was with a friend and both of us were just sixteen with no adult chaperone and we never felt scared in the venue once.
The vibe on the floor can be more aggressive as people are moving around. Some may get pushy. It gets hot and there is always the risk of fainting. Also, you have to line up beforehand which is a whole ordeal and fairly time consuming. There are pros and cons to floor seats, but it may be a touch more dangerous if you have any of these concerns.
Preparation
Last time ticketing happened, there were three separate rounds of ticketing. An ARMY membership presale which happened first, then a lottery-draw fan presale that you had to register for, and then finally a regular ticket sale. All of these happened on different dates in successive order. Theoretically, to optimize your chances, you should purchase an ARMY membership which will give you the best chance of snagging a ticket if they go about ticketing in this manner again.
Make a TicketMaster account beforehand and enter all of your information including payment. Make sure you have enough money in your account for the transaction to go through without issue. Look at the venue map beforehand for your ideal section. There will be extra fees tacked onto the ticket price such as taxes and processing fees so account for that when you’re putting money in your account. Last time they offered pre-registration which was selected lottery style. It’s worth it to register in case you get picked. Be wary of ticketing on multiple devices, as the similarity in IP address may make TicketMaster suspicious. However, you can ask your friends and family to help you out by ticketing too. Beyond ticketing, you should also book your lodging and transportation if relevant in advance.
The Final Hour
Make sure that you clear your schedule for a few hours when ticketing happens. You will want to be somewhere where you won’t be distracted and the wifi is high speed which you can test through googling “internet speed test”.
The specific time tickets go on sale will be announced and you want to log on about 15-30 minutes before. DO NOT REFRESH UNLESS YOUR PAGE CRASHES. Once you enter the ticketing queue (the dreaded purple walking man) if you refresh, you will go to the back of the line. Keep an eye the whole time. It will tell you that there are 2,000+ people in front of you, but just hold faith and eventually the screen to select tickets will appear.
You gotta move fast. Tickets will blip out of existence in seconds. Being extremely picky will not benefit you. Know sections that you would be okay with getting tickets in and keep those in the back of your head if you don’t get your first choice selection. Where you sit doesn’t matter that much and you’ll come to understand that when you actually get to the venue.
Once you have the tickets in your cart, check out ASAP. Don’t give up during the process, even if it seems crazy as hell. Once you’ve gotten it all confirmed, take a deep breath, and get excited! You’re gonna see BTS! Congrats!
So, you don’t get a ticket. What do?
Hope is not lost. Trades and resells. There are Facebook groups exclusively dedicated to selling/trading tickets, so check that out. Just be wary of scammers. You can also get resold tickets which tend to be more expensive. That’s how I got the tickets to my first BTS concert. They were $255 each for seats on the first level, but the subtotals added around another $50. StubHub is a good site for that.
Notes

There are specific guidelines for the bags you can bring into the stadium. Please look at the venue’s rules beforehand. I just recommend that in general.
BTS concerts are a full day/two day experience. Take time off of school or work for it if you can because it’s pretty time consuming.
Plan for the weather! The Chicago concerts were super cold and rainy and the New Jersey concerts were quite hot. Dress appropriately for the weather and bring relevant layers as needed.
Having an ARMY Twitter account will be helpful. Look for social media projects related to your venue. You should be able to find them through searching Twitter. This may be a special fancant or something else.
My personal advice: pre book Ubers/Lyfts and set a designated meeting spot. Trying to get one after the show is hellish.
There is no bad seat in the house. Just different perspectives. See here, here, here, here, and here.
If you have close ARMY social media friends who are attending and want to meet up, make plans to meet at a designated place. Also, some of the local fan bases will set up seat buddy google forms so that people can get to know the people they’re sitting next to beforehand.
Official song fanchants are put out on BigHit’s website. Try and familiarize yourself with them beforehand.
- The standard name fanchant goes as follows. “Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Jeon Jeongguk, BTS!” Here’s a good example.
Some ARMY are known to give out freebies at concerts, so don’t be worried if someone asks you if you want some.
Don’t call ARMY bombs, ARMY bombs around security or outside the venue. Locals will not know what you mean and it can get you in some hot water. Instead, call it a lightstick.
People dress up for BTS concerts like they’re gonna walk a fashion runway. It can be fun to plan a cool outfit, so if you’re gonna do that, but things beforehand. Nobody’s gonna judge you if you don’t, but as an ARMY culture thing it’s pretty common.
If you have medical issues, I recommend contacting the venue beforehand to make a plan of action and figuring out specifics. Will save you time and trouble at the venue.
Most people arrive at the concert 3-4 hours early to hang out, get freebies, meet new ARMY friends, meet up with social media friends, and buy merch. You can always show up an hour or so beforehand, but that bonding time is a lot of fun! Plus, merch lines are very long so you’ll need to have time for that.
Besides your phone/wallet/essentials, don't bring anything you don't want taken away. Although unlikely, it could be lost or stolen.
If you’re driving, figure out your parking plans in advance by looking at the venue website. Some have special parking passes.
Wear decently comfy shoes! Although there are seats at all the venues, you will be standing for the majority of three hours and you will feel as if you have just gone through an intense workout between the jumping around and the screaming.
Security can make your life bothersome if you bring prohibited items into the venue so do your research beforehand on what is allowed and what isn’t.
Make a safety backup plan in terms of people you can call for help or stay with in case anything goes south. Police and security guards are always around in case you need help, so don’t be afraid to ask. There are also first aid stations should you need medical assistance.
You will probably be given a slogan (paper sign). Keep it for posterity!
I had a folder on my phone with screenshots of my ticket’s barcode, fanchants, confirmation emails for my transportation/lodging just in case I couldn’t access the internet.
Cameras other than your phone and small lenses that attach to it are not allowed. This is a BigHit policy to combat fansites and also ensure that you are getting the most out of your experience.
Here’s a comment with some very good advice about concert etiquette
The entire experience of a BTS concert is magical. Your seats or how much merch you could afford don’t matter. It’s a once in a lifetime experience and you will never regret it. I can’t even properly describe it, but seeing BTS live was one of the highlights of my life.

Things to Bring

Clear backpack/bag that meets stadium guidelines
Charged portable charger with cable (two if you’re feeling fancy)
Earbuds!
Small wallet. I don't recommend bringing your entire wallet in case it gets stolen. A mini wallet with your ID, a credit/debit card, and cash will suffice.
Tickets! If you have a digital ticket, bring print-outs as well just in case. I would also bring printouts of the tickets/conformations you will need for your transportation and lodging for the night.
ARMY bomb and batteries. These can be officially bought through Weverse Shop although they are sold in other places. Ebay and Depop are good bets, but you can’t guarantee they are official.
Venue map
Chapstick, deodorant, hand sanitizer, sunscreen stick, wipes, gum, OTC or your personal PRN prescription drugs (if needed), earplugs, and period products if relevant.
Water bottle and a granola bar. Sometimes security will let you keep them, sometimes they won’t, but it can’t hurt to try. Bring an empty, reusable bottle to fill up once you’re in the venue.
If you want, add some BTS themed decorations like pins or keychains. There are a lot of fanmade ones on Etsy. BT21 keychains are always cute. Here are some examples.
Something to do while waiting in line. There are lots of people to chat with, but it may not hurt to bring a game of something like BTS UNO or a slim paperback if you get tired of being social.
A paper fan if it’s gonna be hot
A jacket or rain slicker if it’s gonna be cold or rainy
Here’s an ARMY nurse’s tips on what to bring to keep your health in tip top condition while concertgoing
Binoculars (not a necessity, but may be nice if you’re in high up seats)

A small rant on the state of this Sub

TLDR: No chance. Read the whole post before commenting.
DISCLAIMER: This is not a supercell fanboy post. It is a post about why I think that the toxic nature of the Sub is bad for the game and why it is a part of the game's declining media relevance.
A lot of the content on the Sub is very negative, especially recently after a string of bad updates. This is totally fine, because it shows people voicing their dissatisfaction of the current game situation. The problem I have with this is that in recent months, many people have started to find all sorts of stuff to nitpick about, which in turn is used as an attack against supercell and the CR team. It also spreads a lot of toxicity, which is very unhealthy for the game. I'll try to explain what I mean in this post.
EDIT 1: Cleared up some parts, added a few details, and responded to claims in the comments. The full edit is at the bottom. Also that is a LOT of awards, Thanks!
EDIT 2: At the bottom - more comment responses. Also, don't go into the comments. You've been warned.

SECTION 1: THE CURRENT GAME STATE

Nobody's really arguing that the game is in a really bad spot at the moment. Several bad updates, lack of interesting content, etc. I'm not going into detail here because I think it's been said enough. A lot of people seem to forget this though: Just because supercell employees aren't responding to your posts, doesn't mean they aren't reading them. Obviously I can't confirm this 100%, because I don't work there, but it's probably safe to say that they do see a majority of this sub's content.
Now why is this a problem? It's because SO MANY posts are about game issues. Once the devs have seen 1-2 highly-upvoted posts about something, they figure out that people want a change and start working on it. Making 100 more posts about the same topic isn't going to make them work faster. Think about if you were working at supercell. When you log onto reddit, you see a wall of posts complaining about your game. Doesn't feel good, right? I get that they made bad updates and I think it's a good thing the community is calling them out for it. But some people just go way too far.

SECTION 2: RECENT COMPLAINTS

Here I'm going to give my opinion on how this Sub handled several unpopular changes. After reading it, you should start to understand what I mean.
QUARTELY UPDATES - Supercell switched from doing monthly balance updates to once every 3 months. A lot of people say that the game is getting stale because of that. ((here's where the rant begins, get ready)) Do any of you realize that every other supercell game, including Clash of Clans, Hay Day, and Brawl Stars all do updates less than once a month?? All other supercell games have periods of no content (save for cosmetics) being added. Do you ever see a wave of hate from those communities? Nope.
I get that in the past Clash Royale has had a pretty spotty update schedule. But people are getting mad at the new system before even one quarterly update has come out. This is totally ridiculous, we haven't seen these updates yet. Maybe they are going to do something major. I'm not saying anything that is confirmed, but there is no reason to hate on a new system before it has taken effect. Consider this - would you prefer once-a-quarter updates, or monthly balance changes with 14 month feature update waits?
In the gaming world, even 3 months is an incredibly frequent update schedule. Most games have a pretty spread out update schedule, especially as the game gets older. You don't see people complaining about how the 1.16 update in minecraft took 7 months to release after 1.15. Expecting game changing updates monthly is just pure entitlement. The leadup to Clan Wars 2s release was over a year. If Clash Royale is able to do what Clash of Clans and Brawl Stars do - release quality feature updates every 3 months - it could be a great U turn for the game and dev team. If the March update is disappointing, then these posts will be justified. Until this happens, any posts about not having updates for 3 months are just whiners and are extremely annoying. Only after about 8 months had passed without new additions did people begin to get mad, and this is when it started to become reasonable.
SEASON 20 - The most recent season has had a mixed reaction. A lot of people are mad that nothing changed again. I've already talked about how it's been only 2 months, but there's another issue that I don't get. People are saying this season is lazy. How so? Season 16 has the same name as 4, Season 2, 8, 14, and 15 didn't have a new arena, and Season 19 literally recycled arena 8. For Season 20, not only did they create a new unique arena, but they even made a new soundtrack for the first time in 5 years! It's by no means a very lazy season, and while there weren't any content updates, the dev team is probably saving them for the March update.
THE META - Every single day there's a post about "Lava hound is OP" or "Nerf X-Bow again" or "Stop RPS Matchups". I agree with the majority of them, but they are said far too often. One post about RPS is enough for most people to understand it. Instead, it is posted once a week minimum. It just gets annoying.
CLAN WARS II - Where do I even start here... A lot of people are suggesting improvements like hard level caps, matchmake by region, etc. There's also tons of "CW2 killed my clan" or "Revert the update" posts. And of course there's the occasional "This game is dying" or "Supercell has given up on the game" posts. My question to you is: Do you really think that nobody at the dev team has heard yet? Just because no announcement has been made doesn't mean they aren't working on it. Like I've said earlier, continually whining about something won't make it happen any faster. All you're doing is killing employee morale and probably pushing the update back.

SECTION 3: BALANCING

Balance is an issue in every game. This is not exclusive to Clash Royale. Nearly every competitive game has some aspects more powerful than others, and this is not a bad thing. Unless every single card is made to be completely identical, there will always be some better and some worse. There are plenty of balance issues within the game, but few I would say really need addressing. This is partially my personal opinion, but I think that balancing the game should focus on a few main aspects.

All cards should feel unique and have a reason to exist.

All cards should have a purpose, and have something it does better than any other card. From this definition, any card that is completely outclassed in every way by another card need reworking. These are incredibly rare in any game, and in the current meta, I can't think of any cards that are truly "useless". Obviously some are pretty bad, but nothing is completely outclassed.

Cards or card combos should not promote unhealthy playstyles.

By this I mean extremely passive or defensive playstyles, basically anything that would make matches boring. Spell Cycle decks are very common and very frustrating. Just defend and defend while chucking rockets, fireball, or anything else. Even worse are tiebreaker decks, those that wait out the entire game to win using the tiebreaker. Nobody wants to spend 5 minutes having almost no damage on either side just to lose to a tiebreaker. This is bound to happen occasionally, but decks that are designed just to drag out a match are unhealthy for the game.
Of course, some players will purposely use a bunch of defensive cards solely to waste the opponents time, but cards themselves shouldn't promote ultra defensive play. The defensive combination of Knight + Tesla is very notorious for this.
Cards like Giant Skeleton and Mega Knight can also be seen as promoting unhealthy play for a different reason. Giant Skeleton's bomb can destroy most cards. This means that if there is a gigantic push approacing, instead of defending it normally, you can just drop a 6 elixir cards and wipe out all of it. Same goes with Mega Knight to a lesser extent. Also with Mega Knight, you can sort of play mini-control. If you have mega knight, you can force your opponent to save one or more of their cards for dealing with your mega knight. However, mega knight is not a win condition. You are unlikely to get tower damage with mega knight, so instead you wait for a big push then flatten it.
Defense on its own is not a problem. Decks that drag out the whole match doing nothing but defending are, and the problem stems mainly from cards that encourage this type of play.
Cards that very strongly promote defensive play include:
Knight, Tesla, Giant Skeleton, Ice Wiz, Mega Knight, and Recruits.
This doesn't mean that all those cards aren't balanced. It's just that they promote unhealthy gameplay styles.

Cards should not feel polarizing or unfair

"Unfair" could mean plenty of things. For example, decks that are a really easy win with just a starting hand, RPS (Rock Paper Scissors) matchups. This is when the opponent plays a deck that hard counters yours, to the point where it is near impossible for you to win. RPS by itself is sort of a necessary evil - no matter what happens in a game, some things will be hard countered by others. Good matchups and bad matchups both will happen. That being said, a match should never feel unwinnable. It should never feel that the only reason you lost was because of the other person's deck. A matchup that is more difficult to win (such as a 40/60) is okay, but a 0/100 matchup is not.
Cards that are specifically made to breed RPS are troublesome, however. Earthquake is the best example. It completely shuts down Siege decks and anything that relies on pump, but is useless against everything else. This means with Earthquake, your success rate is very heavily dependent on what your opponent was using.

Use/Win rates are a bad metric to use for balancing

Take this hypothetical scenario:

Card B counters A, C counters B, A counters C
Card A is a very strong card in the meta. People find out that Card B hard counters card A, so the usage rate of Card B goes up. This in turn causes Card A usage to drop. Then Card C begins gaining popularity because it hard counters Card B, leading to Card B declining. Because Card B has a low usage rate, Card A will rise again, meaning that Card C declines, and so on.

Now obviously this isn't how the meta actually works, but the point here is that all 3 of these cards were at one point the most used with the highest win rate, and at one point the least. Pinpointing an exact usage and win rate is very difficult if the data is this volatile. It can also mean that a card having a high usage rate doesn't mean it is broken by itself. It might just be that it is countering a very powerful card. Versatile cards that fit into multiple archetypes will naturally have a higher usage rate as well.
Now that that's been explained, here's why arguing about balance annoys me. A lot of people don't seem to realize just how difficult it would be to make everything balanced. People are naturally inclined to find strategies that work well. Nerfing something will just make people look for something else. Without having all cards be carbon copies of each other, disparities will always exist. Essentially, balance will always be a problem, and there is no point in continually bringing it up.
I don't mean that they shouldn't ever balance cards. If a card is clearly broken, it should be reworked. However, that's why it can be difficult to balance cards. Just because a card is highly used doesn't automatically mean it is broken. The wrong buff or nerf can easily ruin the meta for a while month or more.

SECTION 4: WHY THIS RELATES TO THE SUB

All of these issues are commonly discussed on this Sub and several other sources. All of them are missing important points, though. The amount of "Supercell Bad" posts among others are very repetitive, uninteresting, and annoying. Endlessly complaining about things in the game doesn't solve anything. It just clutters the Sub. I personally am tired of seeing post after post of complaints, and I am in no way the only one.
I'm also going to be addressing a few things that inevitably will wind up in the comments.
"*Aren't you contributing to the toxicity by making this post?"*No. This post is meant to bring attention to the amount of toxic posts here. These have been issues in the Sub for a while, but recent events have made it much more prominent. I am in no way encouraging more toxic behavior from writing this. Nowhere did I ask people to flood the homepage with rants, nor did I say to go attack Supercell.
"What about the large amount of high-effort constructive criticism posts?"
While they may not be toxic, many of them are still on the same topics on the ones I listed above. I think that discussion of any of them should be kept at a minimum. Also, the comments on these posts are usually a mess.
"If you hate the sub so much, why did you write a giant post about it?"
One of the most important parts of any game is a strong community. This Sub is one of the main sources of information for the game. If a new player were to need help with Clash Royale, this Sub is one of the first places they would look. Seeing post after post about how bad the game is doing and that so many people are planning to quit is very likely to turn them off from it.

SECTION : WRAP UP

The toxic nature of this Sub is a major sore spot in the game. Constantly seeing posts about the same topics gets repetitive and accomplishes nothing. Too many posts are filled with complaints and rants about things in the game. I don't want this sub to become like the CoD Sub, or any other game with an unwelcoming toxic community, yet that's the direction it's headed in. I think that there is still time for this community to turn around, though. There are still plenty of posts of what Reddit is all about - advice, memes, funny moments - something that not all communities have. The reason why I made a long post is because I want this game to succeed again. If I didn't like the game I would have just quit.
Supercell gets a lot of flak about their game, and I don't think that all of it is unwarranted. It's normal for people to be upset about something they enjoy being turned on its head. However I don't think we can blame Supercell for everything, as from their comments, tweets, and videos, I do think they are making a genuine effort to improving the game. Some people here just take it way too far. Remember this is just a game.
There are a lot of problems in the game, and I am not trying to contest that in any way. However I dislike the constant attention being brought to them. Once again, my post is not about the game's issues. There are more than enough other posts about that. My post is about how types of posts are too common and are not fun for anyone. It isn't fun for longtime members to see the Sub fall apart, and it's not fun for new players that are looking for help to see a wall of hate. I think that this is a big enough issue for the longer term health of the game and community to be worth talking about.
Finally, to all the people who have been making interesting, funny, or helpful content, keep it up.

EDIT 1

I've read through all of the comments under this post. Here's some of the most common complains I see:
"Supercell isn't doing anything! It's been six months since CW2 and nothing has changed!"
They have already confirmed an update next month. It's not out yet, and it's very possible that the March update will fix many of the complaints. If that update is another flop, then those claims will be fine. Until then, wait for that update.
"We waited patiently for the CW2 update and then it sucked! This update is bound to be the same"Notice that the above sentance contains "and then". This is how the response should be. Wait until after the update comes out before complaining the update sucks. There's been a recent switchup in the dev team, and since the new team hasn't released any updates yet, we can't say that they are going to do the same as the previous team. Clash of Clans was in this same positing 5 years ago, and after getting a new team they began to push out good updates and turned the game around. No reason to believe that the same can't happen here.
"The people posting all the CW2 bad posts are the ones who are trying to save the game!"
That might be true, but this is the wrong way to do it. This post is NOT about the long constructive posts. It's about the sea of copy/paste posts about the same issue that don't bring anything new to the table.
"Hello shut the f\ck up"*
Very constructive and well written comment. Bravo.

EDIT 2

I purposely waited to respond again. A lot of comments are missing the point of the post. I never said that Supercell did nothing wrong, I said that the reaction to much of the problem was unwarranted. There is a fine line between criticism and hate. My post was about the posts that fell into the latter category. Also, I never said that Supercell is definetly looking at all the posts. What I said is that they've seen enough to make up their mind, and any more posts won't change anything. Here's an example:
Supercell sees hard level caps being suggested a lot. Supercell decides that they won't add hard level caps. 500 more posts ask for hard level caps. Supercell ignores them because they've already ruled that out.
I'm not saying I don't support hard level caps, but if Supercell did decide to not add them, no amount of posts will get them to do otherwise. Same with a lot of other common complaints, like shop cards costing gems. Of course they might have already planned changes for this, but it hasn't been revealed yet.
As for comments, I'm not going to individually respond to all of them. I've read them and it seems that most people have came to the conclusion that Supercell is just trying to bury the game, and all the rants are to get them to reverse course. If that was the case, then they wouldn't have planned any March update. Also, even if the update is bad, which it might be, there is no reason to complain about it now. I wanted to respond to this comment in particular:

"When the wise man points to the moon the idiot looks at the finger."
The game is an at all-time low point, with CWII actively hurting players and clans alike. The dev team is nowhere to be seen and only issued a couple fixes that had enough bugs on their own so as to not actually fix the issues and called it a day.
The whole sub is desperately trying to make the dev team correct course before the game crashes and burns, because we all want to save it, and you guys complain about us!
It's like you're sitting in the back seat of a car, the driver is drunk and driving at full speed directly into a tree, and you complain about the passenger who is shouting at him to hit the brake.
(by u/Grevencillo)

First of all, the dev team is NOT nowhere to be seen. Drew has been pretty active on twitter and reddit, and even if he didn't respond to most of the complaints, doesn't mean that he and everyone else at Supercell are doing nothing.
If the whole sub is "desperately trying to make the dev team correct course before the game crashes and burns", then explain these posts:
Post 1 | Post 2 | Post 3
First I'll go over post 1. Not much to say here. The op decided to quit the game, which is nothing special. The one line that made me include it is

They have no desire to admit mistakes and try to improve.

Couldn't be more false. Almost immediately after cw2 dropped, they came out and said that the update was a flop. They did correct some of their mistakes in the November update. Since then, not much has happened, but saying that they "did nothing" is incorrect. Even if there is still a long way to go, the November update was an improvement, and there's no arguing that.
Now for post 2. Once again, no discussion value. No new information. The post uses a lot of strong language and insults and I'm surprised it wasn't taken down.
Finally post 3. This is just a meme, but the problem I have with this post is that it doesn't offer any solutions. it just up and says the game is dead and people are quitting. Also, it gets one thing completely wrong. Clash Royale in 2016 was not "incredibly skill based." It was just as p2w if not more so than it is now. Legendaries used to be way stronger than any other rarity and were extremely rare (unlike now). Also they went to level 6. They continued to add more paid features into the game as well. Tournaments used to cost over 200k gems. Win trading was everywhere. Legendaries being so rare meant the total cost to max an account was far higher than it was now. Not to mention that there was no pass royale, or special deals. Only option was 5000 gem super magical chests. Basically, there was almost no skill, because you would have to spend many thousands of dollars to get your account up to an equal level.
Plus these are only 3 of the posts that show there is a large anti-supercell sentiment in this sub. Not all of it is unwarrented, but posts like these (and there are a LOT more of them) show that there is a sizeable portion of the sub that takes it too far.
All these toxic posts are not "the passanger shouting at the driver to hit the brake". These posts are the "hit the gas". I understand that there are plenty of posts that are genuinely from players that do enjoy the game and don't want to see it die, but enough of these toxic posts exist where you can't say that everyone is in the former category.
Basically, I was complaining about those toxic posts. NOT about the discussion / feedback posts. I probably should have made that more clear, and that's my bad, but saying that posts like mine are the reason this sub is collapsing is completely false. And don't even get me started on comments. just by looking at the comments on this post I can clearly tell that there are plenty of people in that toxic category. Other posts too.
I'm not going to update this post anymore. Enough has been said. If you still think that this post is garbage and is only contributing to the problem, go ahead.

what are the rules for 500 card game video

Despite Five Hundred being the official card game of Australia, it was actually developed in the United States and copyrighted there in 1904. The game’s name is a reference to its objective- be the first player or team to reach a score of 500 points. It is a variation of Euchre with these following changes: The rules of the card game 500 include players scoring by creating matched sets from their seven cards, which are laid on the table, and the playerreaching a score of 500 first after several hands of play is declared the winner. Face cards are scored for 10 points, aces are 15 points, except when used as a 1, and all other cards are scored on value. Two to eight people can play the card game ... In a game of 500, your goal is to work with your teammate to earn 500 points. You earn points by winning tricks, or rounds, of the card game. In each trick, every player plays 1 card, ideally of a high value that may win them the trick. By learning the ranking of the cards and referring to a score card when tallying up points, you'll be winning ... If two or more players reach 500 on the same hand, the one with the highest score is the winner. The Deal . Deal seven cards to each player (except in the two player game, in which each player receives 13 cards). Place undealt cards face down in the center of the table, forming the stock. The top card is turned face up and is placed beside the stock as the up card to start the discard pile ... Five hundred, card game for two to six players, devised in 1904 by the United States Playing Card Company. Though later eclipsed by bridge, it still has a substantial American following and has also become the national card game of Australia and New Zealand.Five hundred was devised as a deliberate cross between euchre, with its distinctive “bowers,” and bridge, with its system of bidding. If you discard your last card a player cannot call rummy, even if your card creates a rummy because the game ends once a player has no cards in hand. A rummy cannot be called after the game has ended. For the second part of your question, jokers and Aces are worth 15 points each. this was not made clear, so I have updated the rules. Thank you for letting me know. Finally, cards that have been ... 500 (Five Hundred) is a fun playing card game where four players bid against each other to win tricks. Use this how-to-play reference for scoring and ranking. How to play the card game 500. 500 or Five Hundred is a trick-taking game with some ideas from Bridge. The game described here is for four players. The game is played over a series of hands. You win the game by earning 500 points or forcing your opponents to reach -500 points. You can purchase the 500 Rules companion app to help you keep score. Like card game author David Parlett I have never seen 500 played with special Aussie pack incl. 13s/12s/11s but I would love to. Our family like to play Euchre and Gin Rummy also. Please state the correct rank of Aussie 500 incl. 2 red 13s etc as above. I have a few ideas of how to adapt these three and a few other card games to my family preferences.

what are the rules for 500 card game top

Dos Card Game Rules and Gameplay Demo - YouTube

Come find out why Rummy 500 is such a wildly popular card game! It’s also called 500 Rum or Pinochle Rummy. In this video we’ll clearly break down all the r... Dos is the followup to Uno, but the rules are a lot more complex. Once you know what you can do and what each move does, it gets a lot easier. This video wil... For detailed notes and links to resources mentioned in this video, visit http://www.patrickbetdavid.com/the-20-rules-of-money/ Visit the official Valuetainme... This video tutorial will teach you how to play the card game 500. QUICK GUIDE:http://www.gathertogethergames.com/500SUBSCRIBE:http://www.youtube.com/gathert... 500 or Five Hundred is a trick-taking game with some ideas from Bridge. Playing the card game 500.The game described here is for four players. The game is pl... Instructional video made for ECE 321 This video tutorial will teach you how to play Rummy 500. This video will start by teaching you the general concepts of Rummy 500, and is followed by the mo... "500 for 2" is a variation on the popular card game usually played by 4 people. Just as much fun as the 4 handed version. Includes Misere and No Trumps. The Whitefords are at it again. In a quick afternoon, they threw together a little movie on how to play the card game 500 for all of their friends coming ov...

500 Rum – Card Game Rules Bicycle Playing Cards

what are the rules for 500 card game

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